Never in a Million Years |N.R|

|16| Where do we go from here?

I was woken early the next morning by an incredible pain that seemed to swarm my body. The sky was still dark, the sun not even peaking above the horizon as I took short breaths. With each one I'd feel a harsh stab in my ribs, but I tried so desperately to stay quiet as to avoid waking a sleeping Natasha. I was still cuddled into her chest, her arm pulling me into her but the once comfortable position was now suffocating. I needed to lay on my back, that way I'd avoid pressing down on any of my injuries.

So as quietly and carefully as I could, I rolled out of her grasp and sunk back into my pillow. Natasha stirred slightly but she eventually turned over so that her back was to me. Certain that she was still asleep I turned to look at the clock on my nightstand. 4:00 am. It'd be hours until everyone woke up and I was already wide awake, the pain being far too much to let me sink back into a slumber.

After staring up at the ceiling for some time I finally decided I'd had enough. So with gritted teeth I managed to rise to a sit, my stomach muscles groaning under the strain. Before I could make another move I had to take a moment to catch my breath, having held it for a few seconds in a bid to remain silent through the pain.

Once I'd recovered I pushed myself up off the bed, swaying slightly on my feet as I adjusted in the darkness. I was desperate for a bath, but there was no way I'd be able to climb out of it without a little help, so I had to settle for a hot shower. I just hoped that the sound of running water wouldn't be enough to wake Natasha.

I slowly limped into the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind me. I almost gasped when I met my reflection in the mirror. My nose must have bled whilst I slept as a trail of red ran almost down to my chin despite it having been smeared. Natasha probably had a crimson stain on her top, oops. My nose was more bruised now, the bridge of it a dark green almost brown and it was throbbing around the small cut. I then dropped my eyes down to my split lips, them being more swollen now and the scab already forming. As I peeled my lips apart I was forced to wince as the dried blood pulled at the skin of them.

After studying my beaten face for a little too long I dared to take my clothes off, dared to reveal the dark injuries that loomed beneath. When my eyes flicked back up to the mirror my breath hitched this time, in both shock and compassion for my poor broken body. The bruises that had once been green were now almost black, a deep purple colour. They stretched across my ribs and stomach, enthralling every inch of that skin in irrevocable pain.

It wasn't that I was shocked by the injuries themselves, but more so by the fact that they'd occurred under everyone's watch. Things were supposed to be better here and yet the people who were meant to be my team had stood by and let another member beat me black and blue. If anything, this was all worse than HYDRA. At least there I knew when something like this was coming and I had some control over whether it did, or at least how often. Here, it had just become another part of my daily routine and nobody even batted an eye.

The second the steaming water ran over my body I revelled in its comfort, in the relief it brought me even if only for a few minutes. But eventually the relief subsided, only to be replaced by that familiar pain that had me groaning every so often. My body was usually stronger than this, more resilient when it came to pain.

After climbing out of the shower I quickly dried off before changing into fresh clothes, which included a hoodie with the hood up of course. I almost silently opened the bathroom door and peered over to the bed, grateful to see Natasha asleep still despite her having rolled over at some point. With one last deep breath I turned off the light and tiptoed over to the bed, carefully climbing back into it as to avoid making too much noise or movement.

However, when I'd pulled the covers back up in an effort to stop my shivering Natasha's raspy voice sounded beside me as well as her squeezing my hand and not letting go. "Are you okay?" Every word was laced with sleep but she wouldn't drop it unless I replied.