Never in a Million Years |N.R|

|9| Trust me.

Y/N's POV

I was still curled up on my bed when someone burst into the cell. In response I just hugged my knees to my chest a little tighter and squeezed my eyes shut. Please don't be Steve, I can't handle that right now.

When I felt someone's hand gently touch my arm I flinched, pulling it away from their grasp and pushing myself right up against the wall.
"Y/N its me. It's Natasha." Why couldn't she just leave me alone? She couldn't spare me an explanation for leaving so abruptly, but now she was here to check up on me no doubt. "Please, can you just look at me? I know what happened." She couldn't possibly know. I certainly didn't allude to Steve doing anything to me, and I very much doubted Steve would drop himself in it.

"Please" she almost whispered, desperation in her tone. Not wanting her to plead any longer I turned over on my bed, slowly rising to a sit as my stomach groaned under the strain.

"What do you mean you know what happened?" I wasn't going to give in that easily. If Steve hadn't told her then letting this secret slip would only add fuel to the fire, the one that was so desperate to scorch me.

"Steve. He told me how he didn't tell you where I went, that today was the first time you've left your cell in over a week and there was something else." Natasha hesitated before continuing, clearly unsure as to how to word her next sentence. "He also said that you got what you deserved. What does that mean Y/N?" There was no way I was going to expose myself like that, show her the wounds he had so violently given me in her absence.

"Nothing."

"Y/N please, you can trust me. I'm never leaving you in his hands again." I looked up at her now, my eyes darting across her features, searching incessantly for the lie. But I couldn't find one. Her expression was raw, fraught with guilt and concern for whatever Steve had done to me. But I just couldn't bear to tell her the truth, not the whole truth anyway. The dark bruises under my shirt would remain hidden from everyone, at least until they'd mostly disappeared and I could just blame the remaining marks on training. So as I spoke to her I allowed my gaze to drop, feeling guilty for lying but also knowing that revealing the truth would bring her harm. I deserved the suffering but she didn't, not when she so clearly loved Steve.

"He treated me like a prisoner. Like they did back there." All I could think to do was play into her image of me back at HYDRA, the day I'd limped down to her cell and crumpled against the wall. "It's fine though, I'm used to it. I deserve it." My last three words were spoken with a whisper, more like a thought that I hadn't intended to voice, but Natasha heard me nonetheless.

"Why would you say that? You deserve better than that, especially from us." As much as I was grateful for her disapproval, it only fed into my worry about marring her relationship with Steve. That would surely hurt her, but that would also mean him taking out his anger on me. I wouldn't able to survive that.

"Natasha it's fine. Please, don't worry about me. He doesn't trust me and it makes sense." As I spoke hastily I couldn't help but notice the pounding in my head, how it was getting a little stuffy in my cell.

"But Y/N, what did he mean when he said he gave you what you deserved?" She seemed hesitant to pose this question. I felt my body shiver at her words, reminding me of the pain he'd caused so effortlessly with no feelings of regret. He'd meant every punch, every cracked rib, and there were most definitely a couple.

"I don't know." I let out a deep breath, suddenly finding it a little tough to fill my lungs. "God, it's getting a little hot in here." Natasha furrowed her eyebrows at that.

"Y/N it's freezing in here. Let me feel you." She placed the back of her hand against my forehead as I started fanning my t-shirt. "You're boiling. Y/N how long have you been feeling like this?" I just shrugged, having not really noticed my symptoms until this moment. "Come on, we need to go to Bruce. How could he have let you get like this?" It seemed she was speaking to herself now, but I wasn't distracted enough to not protest.