Wait For Me | Book Two of "Trust Me"

20- 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘐 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰

-:-Y/N POV-:-

I feel disconnected.

Everything around me doesn't matter anymore. The woods are spinning into a spiral of brown and green, and the voices of everyone surrounding me are muffled. I'm trapped in my head, my thoughts scrambled in a hazy mess, I can't think straight. I knew eventually I would have to wake up to face the problems that have been consuming me for the past month and a half. Cara coming back, seeing Eret again, Karl showing up out of nowhere, Eret kissing me. Let's not forget Dream telling me less than ten minutes ago that he attempted to kill Cara, then he met me, and pretended he had no clue who I was talking about. What was the point, why did he hide it from me for so long? Out of fear of losing me? Out of shame?

Out of guilt?

My head is spinning. I can hear everyone around me talking. Karl is trying to get my attention, so is Dream. Eret is just standing in the middle of them, like he's seen a ghost. He knows he fucked up, but I know he doesn't feel bad. He loves me, and as much as I would love for things to be different, to be the way they were, everything's changed. If I hadn't met Dream, I would've kept messing with Eret like he was my own personal puppet, because he listened to every word I said, he believed everything I said. Everything I said to him, he took it as if God was speaking to him. I'm glad Dream showed up, I'm glad I fell in love with him, because Eret deserves better. Everything he's done has been for me. And what have I done in return? I've lied, stealed, and hurt him, and that was something he never deserved. I will never forgive myself for the way I used to be, but I can forgive myself for owning up to my mistakes.

Karl is yelling now, doing anything to get my attention. He even starts shaking me at one point, but I can't move. I can't even think straight.

"Everyone, just give her some space!" Dream yells. I hear Eret agree with him, but everything is really muffled.

"We don't have time! Grab her, carry her! We can go somewhere else just anywhere BUT here!" Karl orders.

The next thing I know, I'm being carried, by Dream I assume. He's running, and I can hear mild chatter between Eret and Karl. Between all the commotion around me, and my spacing out, I almost forgot what Dream told me.

He knew Cara...

He knew who she was, practically worked with her. And Cara, she kept it all hidden from me. I wish I could remember more than our last year together. I thought my memory was coming back, but it seems to be worse than it had been back in L'manberg. Maybe Cara did tell me, and I just don't remember, right? She wouldn't lie to me...

Right?

And Dream, I trusted him. I lent my heart out to him, and he just crushes it with a couple sentences. He tried to kill her, but she escaped, then Tommy finished the job for him. I now realize how grateful I am for not killing Tommy. He was young, and scared, and he reacted on impulse. I probably would've done the same thing in his position. I, however, should've killed Dream.

I don't mean that, right?

I mean it with all of my heavy heart.

I wanted to kill both Tommy and Dream. I wanted to kill Tommy for killing Cara, but I never had a real reason to kill Dream, one that made sense anyway. Maybe deep down, my gut knew he was a bad person, that everyone would be better off without him. It pains me to talk of him like this, but he deserves it. He will get what he deserves, one way or another.

-:-

I must've fallen asleep, because when I open my eyes I'm in a small room. It had very quaint furniture, and everything was notably organized. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was cozy, but I know I won't be cozy for very long. I feel a bit better now, a little dizzy, but better. My thoughts have calmed down, and all I can really think about is how much I would die for a cup of coffee right about now.

"Hey, how are you feeling? I brought you some coffee." Eret says, as he walks through the faintly brown painted door. Perfect timing.

"Thank you, and I'm fine." I replied, slowly taking the cup from his hands.

"You didn't seem fine."

"Yeah well, if you had heard what Dream said, you would've reacted the same way if you were me." I sighed, and took a sip.

"Yeah, he told me everything, he was really upset." Eret huffed. "He feels really guilty."

"Yeah, he should. He lied to me, repeatedly." I mumbled.

"Maybe you guys could reason with each other, you both have had a lot of tension since you found Cara," Eret reasons. "And me."

"Why are you vouching for him? You want us to be together now?" I laughed sarcastically.

"I'm vouching for him because you love him. Trust me, if I had it my way it'd be different, but it's not my way. You love him, and love like that doesn't just disappear." He grabs my hand.

"Do you ever get tired of loving the person who has hurt you countless times?" I ask him, not realizing how sensitive that question probably is.

"I did at first, but after a while, I didn't care," he replies, and my heart sinks.

Eret has been here for me for a long time, and he's never gotten tired of me. Of all of my bickering, my revenge plots, my constant dwelling on the past, the game I played with his feelings; he never got tired of any of it. A part of me wishes I loved him back, it would be easier than loving Dream. Eret is kind, loving, comforting, basically everything I could ever need.

But I just don't love him like I love Dream.

Dream's handsome, caring, funny, optimistic, fun-loving, understanding, and so much more. He's my person, he's the guy I want to spend the rest of my long life with. So as much as I would love to tell Eret I finally feel the same way, I just,

Don't.

"You're right, I do love him." I mutter. He looks at me. He smiles his too familiar sad smile, and lets go of my hand.

"Do you know what the hardest thing to do to someone you love is?" He asks, still smiling sadly.

"Hm?" I tilt my head, curious.

"Letting them go."

(A/N: Honestly just really excited to finish this but also sad, ya know? Probably like 3 more chapters)