head in the clouds

forty four; tyler

"Today is the day.

Today marks three months.

He's leaving today.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I wonder if he's going to come see me;

If he even thinks about me anymore.

I wonder if my family will ask me to move back in.

I'd like to say I wouldn't accept their invite;

But I'm weak.

I'm weak, when it comes to them.

Josh, Laura, Ashley and Abby have been more of a family to me than my own in the span of three months than they have my whole life.

I owe Laura my life.

But;

I'm weak.

I don't think I'd be able to say no to them.

Three months.

I haven't seen them in under a month;

I hate them for that.

But;

I'm weak.

Because they made me this way."

I take the paper away from my face and look at his face; which consists of shock and confusion.

"You're gonna say that in front of everyone?" He asks.

I nod my head. "I mean, I think so. The assignment was to write about a current event in my life, and that's the biggest thing going on." I shrug.

He leans back on the couch, resting his hands behind his head. "I feel like... putting Josh on the spot like that might make him a little... uncomfortable?"

I raise an eyebrow and purse my lips. "Well... yeah. I guess. I don't know, I could take him out of it?"

"Why don't you change the names? Make it less obvious?" He suggests.

"Everyone at school knows my situation, I can't really beat around the bush with them."

"Okay, maybe just take the family out. Try to work around it. You could say 'I'm weak, when it comes to them; I don't think I'd be able to say no to them. Three months.' and then go about the ending."

"Okay," I nod, writing down what he said. "Okay, so it'll sound like this:

'Today is the day.

Today marks three months.

He's leaving today.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I wonder if he's going to come see me;

If he even thinks about me anymore.

I wonder if my family will ask me to move back in.

I'd like to say I wouldn't accept their invite;

But I'm weak.

I'm weak, when it comes to them.

I don't think I'd be able to say no to them.

Three months.

I haven't seen them in under a month;