Before The Stars (Fan Series #1)

Chapter 16

"Let's date."

Napakurap-kurap ako nang marinig ang sinabi ni Trey. Tama ba ang narinig ko o nabibingi lang ako?! Nang wala akong may naisagot ay humakbang siya palapit sa akin.

"Let's date." He even repeat it! This time clearer and slower!

"Huh?! B-bakit naman tayo magde-date?!" I don't know how I sounded but I don't care anymore. Ano pa ba ang magagawa ko dahil bigla na lang ako nanghina.

"Why do you think people date?" Hinawakan niya ang palapulsuhan ko pero agad ko itong binawi sa kaniya.

"Hindi ah! Wala akong sinabing gusto kita—"

"Nah." He cut me off by placing his finger on my lips. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nakatitig sa kaniya. "Go get your things. I'll be in parking lot number 5." And just like that, he left me dumbfounded... again!

Agad kong kinuha ang mga gamit ko sa office at kinita siya sa parking lot. He asked me about my day, ganoon din ako sa kaniya. Hindi pa naman kami gutom kaya bumili lang ako ng ice cream. Parehong flavor ang gusto namin at isa na lang 'yong natitira kaya sabi niya, mag-share na lang daw kami sa isang pint.

He parked the car somewhere in the high-street bridge. Tsaka kami umupo sa may bandang likuran ng sasakyan niya.

"I remember this photo with Milo, your Dad took this one. He wanted also to have a photo with Milo so you took him one." Masaya niyang pagkakaalala. "How is he?"

Bumagsak ang ngiti sa labi ko dahil naramdaman ko kung paano nanikip ang aking dibdib. Bumalik na naman ang lahat sa isip ko... iyong mga bagay na ayaw kong makita kahit sa panaginip lamang. The last picture of my father inside my head isn't as good as Trey has.

"Uhm, si Papa..." My lips felt numb but I hold it right away to calm myself. "Uhm.." I couldn't say it aloud. It's been years pero sa tuwing pag-uusapan si Papa, mahirap na sa akin dugtungan.

It's been years and I guess it's not easy as I think it is. Lalo na't ang taong kaharap ko ay ang taong mula rin sa nakaraan ko. Their only difference is, this one came back. Hindi ko rin siya masisisi dahil wala siyang kaalam-alam sa mga nangyari.

Natulala ako sa ibaba habang tahimik lang si Trey na naghihintay ng sagot ko. "It's okay... I won't push in." He said in a calming tone.

I bitterly smiled as I remained my eyes on him. "He's not here anymore. He's in a beautiful place." I said now looking up.

He nod sincerely and smiled back. "He's with my lolo, right?" His gaze sends comfort to me. We were fighting through our voices the whispering scare of our past.

Hinawi ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok kong hinahangin sa pisngi ko. It felt fulfilling because none of us had the urge to cry. We were both smiling our sentiments.

I told him the reason why we left the farm. At kung bakit hindi na ako nakapagpaalam sa kaniya noon. I told him also what happened to me after the accident. "It must have been hard for you. But you did it, Sid. You're brave." He praised.

Sa lahat nang nakilala ko, kahit sa mga kaibigan ko at mga naging boyfriend ko noon, wala akong may nasabihan tungkol nito. It felt heavy for me to tell them. I am not sure if they would understand. Because how can a clouded girl managed to act all bright inspite of her stormed days?

Hindi ko rin alam kung paano ko nagagawa iyon. But for me, my trauma became my motivation. I learned that the ashes of my past contributes to the person who I am right now. And sharing this to the person whom I comforted way back then felt surreal.

"Thank you." Saad ko kay Trey. "I didn't imagine I would be talking to you again about life. Dati, pinag-uusapan lang natin kung sino ang uupo sa swing at sino 'yong magtutulak." Sabay kaming napatawa habang inaalala ang mga panahon na 'yon.