Unholy letters | Loki fanfiction

3 | This is not fair

"Can I help you?"

My glance shot up. Another maid stopped beside me and looked at me worriedly. I tried to say something, my brain still frozen from trying to comprehend what I just found.

"Yeah", I got out after a few awkward seconds. "I just slipped and ... well ..."

I stuffed the note in one of my pockets and bend down to pick up the tray and cutlery with the maid. How did the note get in Loki's cell? Did I put it there by accident? And now Loki knew! He knew I had feelings for him, or was enamoured by him at least. And what did that reply mean? Thank you? Was that sarcasm? It didn't sound very sarcastic. Or was he honest?

"Thanks", I said, trying to smile at the maid who thrusted the tray into my hands. She smiled back and went on her way.

I walked back to mine and Laura's room, my hands shaking. I clearly remembered putting the poem back in my nightstand. Seriously, how did it get to Loki?

But did that really matter? He knew. Eyes so green like the wide heaving meadows, with a spark so bright it outshines every star. Dark and tall, like every maidens dream, and still away so far. That was what was written in the poem. That was what he thought I thought of him. And ... I still agreed with that poem.

But it was so embarassing. Like, yes, I agreed, but something like that in the hands of my crush? I bet he had heard better poems. It was no wonder he looked at me like that today! I would never hear the end of it if I would go back to his cell! Alone the thought made me shudder. I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes. I needed help on that situation.

Hopefully Laura was in our room. It was nearly her breaktime. She would know what to do. Or at least she would listen. I mean, she wished for something like that to happen all along, she-

I almost dropped the tray again. If Laura was responsible for this, she would have to get an earful.

I got back to our room and didn't bother to knock. I burst in and there she was, sitting on the bed, doing her nails.

"Laura!", I almost yelled.

She looked up and grinned. "Did something happen?"

"First of all, yes, and second of all, if you are responsible for this, I am going to kill you."

Laura's smile weakened a little. "Didn't he like the poem? What's wrong?"

"What is wrong is that you STOLE the poem out of my nightstand and PUT it on the tray WITHOUT my consent, do you even know how much you just did -" I went into a full rant. Laura listened, more or less in shock of my heated reaction. "... and even the thought of going back to him makes me embarassed as hell, I honestly think I can't do it ..." Tears welled up in my eyes as everything seemed to much. All these years of longing but keeping the facade together, all the sadness and happiness and admiration I had kept inside me seemed to boil over. "I think I will quit this job", I whispered eventually.

Laura still stared at me on shock, then she got up and hugged me. "Hey, come here, shhh ... I am sorry I hurt you so much, I thought you would only need a small push in the right direction ... what did he do?" She wiped away a tear on my cheek. "What did this mischievous idiot do to make you feel like this?"

I looked up, confused. "N-nothing. He was all nice and teasing and normal about it, just wrote 'Thank you' on the back of the letter ..."

Laura listened attentively. "Well, then everything is okay, isn't it? That's a good sign, right?"

"I ... I don't know", I said quietly. "I find my poem just so embarassing. Not in general, but I never ever wanted him to read that. He will not stop to tease me about it."

"But don't you like his teasing?"

I thought about that, slightly angry that I couldn't find a good response straight away. "Not about this", I huffed eventually.

Laura brushed a strand of hair out of my face. "Whatever you do, please don't quit the job. I know I can't force you to keep it, but I know how unhappy it will make you."

I said nothing for a while. "I will think about it until his next meal."

Laura nodded, not entirely satisfied with my answer, but smart enough to not push me again.

And so I thought about it the whole morning. I did laundry, polished swords for the warrior training and watered the plants in the west wing, but as I was ready to pick up Loki's lunch, I didn't feel better about this whole thing. I almost felt more embarassed.

As I took the tray and walked into the dungeons, I made a decision that made my heart heavy. This would be my last visit at Loki's cell.

I got to the cells and immediatly went scarlet red, and like I predicted, I wasn't able to look into Loki's eyes. I knew he stood there and looked down at me as I opened the barrier for me as usual, but I stubbornly avoided eye contact. My body was heating up.

"Hello, my favourite maid", Loki said.

The sound of his voice melted my insides a little bit, and it made me look up at him for a second. I caught him winking at me and it was hard not to fall to my knees.

I took a deep breath and placed the tray on his table. Then I turned around and looked up at him. "I know you got a poem yesterday, and it was a terrible accident", I said in lightning speed. "It was from me and it was genuine, but that it got to you was a mistake, and it is unprofessional, and now I am so embarassed that I am not going to be your maid anymore."

I breathed quickly and managed to look at him for longer than half a second. Loki had a surprised look on his face and made a few steps in my direction.

"I must admit I am very surprised at this turn of events. I can only say that even if my reply sounded sarcastic, it was also genuine. I would be glad if you didn't quit to be my maid. I am very ... happy with your service."

My stomach fell quite a bit. That was new. "Thank you for these words", I stuttered. "But ... I still think I will ... well ... quit ..."

"Hm", Loki said and to my surprise, his expression changed into a smirk. What was he thinking now? Why was he that happy at my misery? A bit of indignation mixed into my embarassment.

"That really is a pity", Loki continued slowly. He walked towards me, then he grabbed a part of his armour, pulled and the upper body part fell off.

My jaw almost hit the ground.

"Really, really unfortunate ..." Loki came closer, and my glance was glued to his naked chest. His skin was smooth and a bit pale, with just the right amount of muscles. He wasn't built like Thor, but ... better. Much better.

"This is not fair", I squeaked.

"Oh no", Loki drawled and forced me to retread back to the wall. Then he propped himself up with his arm against the wall, next to my head. "Me, the god of mischief, being not fair ... maybe something you could have expected."

I should have expected this? Not even in my dreams.

His green eyes glittered with amusement and trickery. "You still want to quit? What a shame ..." He let his fingers run over my belly which quivered under his touch.

"Am I dreaming?", I said in a really high voice.

"Does this feel like a dream?", Loki asked and carefully brushed my cheek with his fingers before lifting my chin a little, coming even closer.

I wanted to reply something, but I couldn't. Shortly before his lips reached my face, my legs caved in and my vision went black.