Ice Blue

Chapter 1

"Are you lost babygirl?"

My head falls back as I fill my room with laughter. "Max, please! This is hilarious!" I laugh in the phone. "Can you please be serious for a second? You missed half of the movie already." she laughs on the other end of the line. She's trying to be serious but failing.

We are watching a movie while we're on the phone and I can't take it serious because I've never liked soft porn movies but she was so excited when she told me about the movie and her favorite character that I had to do her the favor and watch it with her. Unfortunately she can't come over because she's grounded for clubbing too much so we have to make the best out of it.

"I'm sorry. It just seems stupid to me." I try to control myself. "Ah, I know, I know you like the hardcore stuff! But I have to leave for dinner now. You know how strict they are since the last time I went out but I'll be right back and we will continue!" She says and I nod, although she can't see it. Her parents got a bit sensitive since she came home from clubbing last time, in the morning, totally drunk, with a random dog in her arms and white powder around her nose. They take her everywhere since that day and expect her to attend all dinners, family events and everything else that she actually hates.

"Of course." I say and we hang up. A little break from this movie will be nice.

I sit down on the edge of my bed and look at the clock on my wall. It's ticking. Time is running. I watch the seconds pass, counting them unintentionally, realizing that nothing will change, no matter how many seconds will pass. Nobody will force me to attend dinner or call me to eat. Nobody will ground me for clubbing too much or going out, coming home with a random dog or sniffing things that destroy my brain.

My parents went on a business trip over the weekend like most weekends and that may sound nice but it's not. Usually I like weekends but this one feels like it will never pass. Friday nights are fun to most of people but not to me. I despise them. They make me realize how lonely I am. I could throw parties, open all the Champagne and wine bottles in our wine cellar, go anywhere or paint the pool water pink to not feel so lonely anymore but it still wouldn't help because my parents wouldn't care. Nothing could fill the gap my parents caused. They think that giving me their cards to go shopping whenever I want and how much I want, will make up all the times they leave me alone. They're happy to see me excited about their surprises and gifts they brought from other countries and they love liking my pictures on Instagram that I take with friends in expensive cars. They think that I'm living my best life. That I enjoy going on private parties of celebrities and that I'm enjoying all the opportunities I have but the truth is that I feel unbelievably lonely.

I'm thankful but I know that I'd rather have less material things but a family in exchange. A family instead of cold floors, food from a maid and full bags.

I look at my curtains. Pink, heavy and from Italy. My rug is handmade by an old woman from Iran. The clothes in my dressing room are all from France and Italy. I only eat cherries and Hazelnuts from Turkey. My skin gets irritated if the silk my bed sheets are made of isn't from India.

It's not that I want this all. I can't live without it. I need it because I grew up like that and it's almost unhealthy for me to live without these things since I'm a victim of wealthy people.

I stand up and leave my room because I can't stand to hear the clock ticking anymore and to get something to drink because I don't feel like eating. I never do because meals feel unreal as long as they're not eaten around a table with a family. It doesn't count if I eat on my feet, not even warming it up, straight out the container instead of using plates since it's not worth for a few bites. Even thinking of that makes me lose my appetite.