Ice Blue

Final

My heart skips several beats while I stare at the frosted glass door. I clutch my purse, ready to run any second but I know Valentin won't let me. I still try.

"I can't do this." I turn around and try to bolt past Valentin but he's standing there like a bouncer. He grabs me by my upper arms and doesn't let me go, although I try to free myself. "You can and you will." He tells me. I try to shove myself past him but his grip tightens. "I can't!" I whisper-yell, convinced of my overwhelmed feelings. I know myself and I know that I can't knock on this damn door. "But you have to!" He whisper-yells back, trying to push me back towards the door. "If you don't do this, it'll be in your mind for the rest of your life and life is too short to not do this!"

My biological parent's neighbors are probably calling the cops right now because they see us fighting in front of their door.

"I don't! Now let me go!" I tell him, still pushing and being pushed. We both fight for my will until we hear a noise and freeze at the same time. My blood runs cold when I hear the door open. What do I say? How do I introduce myself? Do I even want this? Do I look good enough?

I turn around instantly and smooth my clothes straight again and fixing my hair. My heart jackhammers against my chest so hard that I feel shaken but I manage to steel my spine and square my shoulders. I can feel Valentin do this same behind me before the door opens and a tall woman with long, light-brown hair appears. She has blue eyes and the same cheekbones as me. Her olive skin and her beautiful figure leaves me stunned. She looks amazing in her baby blue dress.

I almost forget to breathe when she looks at me like she's seeing a ghost.

She knows me.

I dient expect that. I expected anything but her recognizing me immediately.

"Oh..." I hear her whisper. My eyes start to burn with tears and I can see some pool in hers too.

"Oh..." she repeats, louder and even more shaken this time. As if she's going to burst out in tears.

A sob lodges in my throat.

I feel weak. As weak and vulnerable as I've never felt before. My whole world fell apart and now I don't know if it will get better or not. The ground was swept from my feet and I want it to be okay again. Am I doing the same to these people now with appearing at their doorstep? I can't tell what her reaction means. I'm too scared that she is panicking because she is disappointed and upset. But when she steps towards me and puts her hands on my upper arms which are shaking, I know that she is anything but upset. The tear that rolls down her cheek speaks more than words. Feeling her touch makes me want to cry my eyes out. Her fingertips are so warm and soft. Her touch is so gentle and filled with so much love that it's too much for my affection starving heart. I don't even know her but I know she's just like a mother should be.

Her eyes trace up and down my body. She takes me in, her chin shaking and her eyes tearing up and I know she didn't give me away by herself.

"You-... you grew..." I know she wants to say more but she can't. And neither can I because I have to cry.

Valentin

"Was it like in the movies?" Cesare asks, sounding excited. He's acting like I told him about a new blockbuster. "It was more than that." I lean against the doorframe of Anastasia's parent's balcony in the second floor.

As soon as she started crying, her mother started crying her eyes out too. She wrapped her arms around Anastasia so tightly that she could barely breathe and I didn't think she found it awkward or anything. It didn't feel weird to her because it didn't feel strange. Probably because she's not a stranger and the interesting part is that she can feel it. The moment her mom laid her eyes on Anastasia she already knew and Anastasia felt it. I literally saw the connection between them and it even made me shiver. Unfortunately I didn't know what do to with two crying women so I suggested to continue inside. They sat down to talk while I asked for a quiet corner to make a call.