Ice Blue

Chapter 25

"Do I look alright?" I ask June, fixing my ponytail in the mirror while she sits behind me. She rolls her eyes. "For the hundredth time. Yes." She answers, leaning back and sipping on her coffee.
June knows about what happened but she had enough decency to not ask me too much about it because she knew that it was obviously bothering me. She told me how worried she was and that she's so glad that I'm back and healthy. That's what matters anyway.

Now Max is coming. Three weeks after I told Valentin I want to see Max, he arranged it and told me he would get her here today. I'm so excited that my palms are sweating and I have too much saliva in my mouth. Do I have to throw up? No, I don't. I'm just very excited and can't wait to see her. That's why I want to look decent. Decent enough so she doesn't think something bad happened to me or that I'm unhappy here. I don't want her to know anything about the kidnapping, my dad or Valentin in particular. Usually I tell her almost everything but these are things I don't want to include her in. This shouldn't do something to her life. She doesn't need to know things that will burden her. The less she knows, the better.

"I'm so bloated." I can't stop inspecting myself in the mirror. It's important to me that Max sees me happy and well. "You're not. Stop overanalysing everything." She shakes her head but I bite my lower lip with worry.

"I should go and wait at the front door. I want to welcome her." I turn and take a step toward the door but halt. "Maybe not. I don't know how she will react." I go back to the mirror and can't ignore June's eyes on me so I look at her. She looks overwhelmed with my excitement but I haven't seen Max in months. I miss her so much, I never thought I'd see her again but at the same time I never gave up hope and I'm so thankful that Valentin lets me see her here. Meeting her in a coffee shop, restaurant or a park wouldn't feel right. Seeing her in my new home is what I need and I'm so grateful that Valentin is okay with that. It was his idea anyway.
He's making sure she gets here safely so he'll arrive with her.

It makes me nervous. This whole situation makes me nervous. It feels like I'll accept this life and so will those who I had in my old one. I already accepted it. It's valid to me and I love it but I'll introduce it to Max and that makes me nervous.

"I should welcome her at the door. I know." I go back and walk across the entrance to the front door but before I reach it I change my mind again. Her opinion matters so much to me. I don't even know how to explain this to her but I guess I'll improvise. I need to fill the holes in the story and answer her questions in a way that won't get her suspicious because I can't tell her about my dad and Lidia and that my dad doesn't want me back. I have to make her believe that I came here by my own choice.

I almost reach the doors of the living space as I hear a voice and my whole body freezes with goosebumps all over my skin.

"Anastasia."
That sweet voice...
I'd recognise it everywhere. It's so soft and unique that it brings tears to my eyes.
I turn around and almost float back to the entrance where she stands next to Valentin, way smaller and more fragile than him. My breath hitches and a tear escapes my eyeball as I run towards her and she meets me in the middle. She wraps her arms around me so tightly that I can barely breathe and I do the same to her, realising that I missed her more than I thought.

"Where have you been?" She cries into my neck and I hold her tightly, finally breathing again. I missed her more than I thought. Between all this chaos I didn't even notice how much I needed her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I tell her. I didn't have the chance to do it earlier but I should've tried. I should've known how worried she was. If I would've been her, I would've lost my mind. "God, I tried to contact your parents so often. I even asked mine and no one listened to me. I wasn't even allowed to look for you." The pain in her voice makes the guilt eat me from the inside. She doesn't know how cruel our parents can be and although her mentioning that her parents didn't care either because they're probably involved too hurts, I can't tell her about anything. I wouldn't upset her like that. My picture got repainted but hers is still untouched. I don't want to change that.