Banned To Touch | jenlisa

Prologue

Hey, my little angel. 

I've been watching you for a long time now. It's not like I'm stalking you. No. Rather that I can't take my eyes off you. 

You make me happy even if I never really show it to you.

Hemingway once said, "Happiness is just good health and a bad memory," and dammit, he was right. Because every time I think of you now, it hurts me for letting you go and it hurts even more for hurting you.

I tried to keep myself away from you, tried to protect you with it. However, I could only give in to my selfish side and wanted you all to myself. And I still want that now, little one.

You are like your favourite flower said: beautiful and looking innocent just like the white jasmine flower. And your beguiling scent, which makes my blood boil with desire, makes me forget what is between us. Still, even though you're so beautiful, you're poisonous at the same time.

You are MY poison.

We were doomed from the start not to have a happy ending.

One day you said to me you thought I only want you for the forbidden kick. You thought I couldn't love you. My angel, just because I'm silent doesn't mean you can agree with it.

Why do you think so badly of yourself? I want to hold you in my arms, this feeling after not just sexual closeness ... I really missed this feeling. Thank you for being there for me.

I'm sorry I never told you that much about myself. I don't know, I've never been particularly talkative about myself.

I'm sorry you have to be my secret. I would love to show everyone in the world that you're mine. Well, you were mine once.

I'm sorry I made your life hell. You make me lose my control. 

And I'm sorry I'll never give you this little letter. I couldn't bear not to get an answer back.

Even if you will probably never be completely mine, I will always remain yours.

I love you, my little angel.

Jennie.