Banned To Touch | jenlisa

Chapter 29

LISA

Her grips keep me in place and escaping is not an option. I can't even escape from her eyes, they burn themselves so deeply into my soul. Jennie Kim is an educated, good looking woman and not for the first time I wonder why she wants me of all people. I know I'm not ugly. I don't mean that I think I'm beautiful, and I don't mean it in a narcissistic way. Just honest. I have learned to love and respect myself more.

When my recovery began a year and a half ago, I saw what happened when you weren't honest with yourself. You backslide and destroy others by pretending everything is perfect. Best example of this is when a month after I met Leo in mentalhospital he relapsed and was... he was just awful. At least he was calm when he was smoking weed, but once he was on ecstasy, LSD, amphetamines and so on, he was a completely different person.

As soon as then I got him back from his trip and I did that this time too. He did well last week when we drove to killeen for the AHC. He has - as they always said - "sin atoned for", realized his mistake and had to give up his one-year clean chip. I will always rescue Leo because I know he would do the same for me. "Together through addiction, together through life!" At least that's what we always said back then, to help each other. We are always there for each other.

Inside, I want to cry. Jennie is right. Ever since she became a new teacher at Riverblossom High Hills School in August, I've been fighting my inner cravings. When she wasn't haunting my thoughts, I was haunting my dreams, and now I even wake up drenched in sweat from dreaming with her far more often than I did before the moment after she had her fingers inside me. All wet between my legs and desperate for the relief that only she can give me and no one else. But I don't dare to touch myself, because I know that I will only see her piercing green eyes with the glowing, amber-colored ring in front of my inner eye. Hell yes! Yes, I know there's a gravitational pull between us that, like a tornado, can wreak havoc for miles in a matter of seconds.

But I can't be selfish enough not only to sacrifice my boyfriend's rehab, but I also can't let Jennie lose her job.

I've hurt too many people in my past and if Jennie finds out, she would never stand in front of me like that again, throwing such flattering words at my head, holding me so close it almost hurts and erotic flashes throughout my body and above all she would not look at me with such greed as if she only wanted me.

I force myself to look at the technicians behind her and finally almost whisper. "I can't Jennie. That would be selfish."

To be honest I was expecting her to freak out, but right now I can see the left corner of her mouth puckering up devilishly and even when I'm not looking at her my throat goes all dry.

"Look into my eyes, little one." Her tone has changed. There is nothing tender in it anymore. Only pure dominance and even if I don't want it, my body reacts instinctively and obeys her command - as always when she speaks in this tone.

"Good girl." She purrs and strokes my cheek. My eyes roll up in pleasure and I can't deny how much those two words turn me on and make me proud. Not only has a switch flipped in her, but also in me. Just now I'm telling her that we can't do that between us and the next moment I'm craving to please and obey her. What the hell is happening here right now?

Why does this woman have such an effect on me? She can only make someone pregnant with a look, her eyes alone scream so much sex!

"Jennie... we cannot-"

"You said you can't. It's selfish. It just means you've admitted to yourself how much you want me. How badly you want all this. And you also know that I want you. Right?"

When I don't answer, just mesmerized by the sudden change in mood, her hand slips into my hair and tugs. Tingling pain runs from my scalp to my abdomen. I can feel my pants getting wet, she has hardly done anything and it scares me just as much as when she spanked me, how much the slight pain aroused me and proves to me again that maybe a very small one Masochist in me rages.

I bite my lip to keep a sound from leaving my mouth and see the fire blazing in her eyes.

"Answer me if I ask you something!"

"Yes." I replied choked.

"How was it again? You can hardly hear mice, kitty."

I lick my dry lips and watch her greedily look at my mouth and then back at my eyes. And damn they're dark now. Oh yes, Jennie... I want to kiss you too!

"Yes, I know you desire me, ma'am."