Everyone knew about Peter Parker but what if his story was different and he had a twin sister named Payton. After the avengers save them from hydra, Tony steps in and becomes the figure they both need at the time. He takes them under his wings and h...
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I was able to get a good nights rest in. Jasper was able to keep an eye on the kids in case they had nightmares or needed anything.
I got out of bed and went to take a long shower. I'm now able to process everything that has happened to me. I know I told the doctor yesterday I was fine but standing here getting images and memories from those days are messing with me.
The water continues to hit me while I sink down to the bathroom floor and cry. I had to be so strong for the kids and now I am able to break apart. So I did. The drowning, the beatings, the cutting, tryin to wipe my memories but it wouldn't work so they just kept me hooked to the chair, and drenching me in water while electrocuting me.
My bones hurts, my muscles ached, and I had cuts and bruises all over me. Plus now I find out Jaden and Noel are my actually kids. I feel so at fault. So many what if questions are running through my mind.
What if I never left hydra would I have been with them? What if I tried harder in taking hydra down? Could I have found them sooner? What if they blame me for what they went through and suffered before I even got there.
Will I be a good mom? Am I too much of an emotional broken mess to raise them? Will they ever forgive me? Can I really do this? Is hydra really gone or are they just hiding now waiting to grow and strike again?
Will I ever get a break? Does the trauma ever go away? Does Jasper want to deal with 3 emotionally and mentally broken people who suffered in Hydra?
After an hour of sitting in the shower floor, I finally got myself up and got dressed. I braided my hair back and put on some leggings and a hoodie of Jaspers. It's still early so the kids are sleeping still.
I make my way to the kitchen and see Jasper standing in their cooking breakfast. He doesn't say anything but hands me my morning cup of coffee with a kiss on the cheek. I smile softly at him and his sweet gestures.
After 10 minutes and me finishing my coffee, Jasper speaks up. "Did you sleep okay?" He asked. I looked up at him and shrugged.
"Sorta I guess. I haven't had that much sleep in a few days or so." I tell him.
"Are you ready to open up yet? Before everyone gets here?" He asked while he put chocolate pancakes in front of me while taking a seat.
After a few bites I begin to talk. "Everything they did this time was similar to what they did before but different at the same time. Thankfully you all showed up right as they were getting ready to put themselves on me." I pause thinking about that moment. Jasper puts his hand in mind giving it a comforting squeeze.
"I had to stay strong for the kids. I would take their beats or punishments every time the agent would come after them. It ranged from beatings, cutting my body, drowning, electrocuting in the chair and while pouring water of me to make it worse. They found out they couldn't wipe my mind like before so they would just leave me in the chair for hours and I was exhausted. The drown was probably the worst. Sometimes it was in luke warm water, other would be hot or ice water. One evening was actually both. They would throw my body in and out of each tub holding me down sending my body into complete shock." At this point tears are rolling down my eyes and Jasper has my head into his chest.
"I would try and fight so hard knowing and trusting you all would come for me. There were a few times during the drowning I would think about just not fighting anymore because I was so tired and slowly breaking. But I kept reminding myself of you, the team, the pack, and those kids. And finally you all came and got us. All for us to find out they are biologically ours and we've missed the first 7 years of Jadens life and first 3 almost 4 of Noel. We both talked about wanting kids and adopting but I never expected this. I just wish we could've known sooner to save them. I keep running so my what if's in my mind that it is breaking me even more because our babies were stuck in their suffering like I was and it isn't fair to them. They didn't deserve that none of us did. And fucking Bella just stood there and laughed the whole time and kept saying that's what I get for not protecting her. Is this really what I deserve for protecting my family over her?" I say fully sobbing into him now.
The sobs continues to rack through my body as I clung to Jasper scared I would wake up and still be in Hydra.
"No you didn't deserve this Payton. And Darlin' you did not know they were there. No one did. So there was nothing we could've done differently. Now what we can do, is take those kids, and give them the best rest of their childhood they have left. We can give them a living family, good memories and help with control their powers. We can do this. Payton they are our babies. I know we didn't make them but they are part of you and me. It may have happened in a sad twisted why but the bright side is we get children of our own that we thought would never happen. We can still adopt others if we want but now we have 2 beautiful kids here in our lives. You are going to be a fantastic mother and do not ever doubt yourself on that." He says.
I look up at him. "Yeah but how do you know that? How do you know I'll be a good mom?" I asked. He grabs him face softly wiping my tears away.
"Because before you even knew those two where your blood, you put your life on the line for them so they wouldn't and couldn't be hurt anymore. You took their pain and punishment for them. A good mother does that. A good mother protects those kids. You could've just sat aside and let the agents do whatever they wanted to them but you didn't. You also made them a promise and got them out of there and somewhere safe. And now, a family. You have no reason to doubt, no reason to blame yourself in this situation. All we can do is wrap our arms around those two little ones and love them for all eternity." He says making me feel better.
