My Life A Lesson

Chapter Nine

°VOID✅
Best way I would describe my heart this moment, I don't understand what it want, making me not to understand myself either.

©Easyease✍️

"Stop!" I finally found my voice "Just stop already! Aren't you ashame of yourselves?" I look at both of them as they let go of each other "Now I know! Now I know why you are a beast in human form! You saw the result and you didn't ask me? You overheard my conversation and you didn't ask me? You are a sheep! A birdmind that lack senses, a useless being! I thought my life is ruined when I was abused, I thought my life was shattered when I was told I lost my womb, but no! You ruined my life! You shattered my life! You Shinaayooluwafunmi is not meant to be a human but an animal in the thick part of the forest!" I said crying profusely, my life is indeed a mess. My mum is now sitting in the chair with are mouth wide opened, Ayobami is tapping his leg on the floor and my husband? He is still in rage.

"You saw the letter because I couldn't meet the doctor and was given appointment on Monday, you only heard few of what I told ayobami, I was waiting for you to tell you but you came home in a beast form, you didn't give me the chance to talk to you. When we were still dating I told you I needed to tell you about my life, do you mind if I remind you of what you said? You said it's my past, you want to focus on our present, the present is here and you couldn't face it, you are such a coward! I yelled, My husband look intense at my choice of words.

"I know about it because she took excuse that she's going to the hospital for an appointment and she came back crying, I never knew about her past life as well she told me everything that day, if you came earlier you would have heard most of our discussion and if you had stayed longer you would have had some clue about what we discussed, I was the one that advice her to tell you when she got home; I noticed she changed from the next day and whenever I ask her about it, she will tell me she had it in control, you never said anything about it as well so I felt maybe you don't want me to know not knowing all this has been going on but why? Why inflicting pain? Why damaged her health? You are educated to know the penalty for domestic violence, why not divorce her instead of all this?"  Ayobami said wiping the blood from his nose, I felt pity towards him, he had a broken nose because of me.

"Shina, Omolade was a victim of sexual abuse right from when she was 8years it continued for 9years which result to her aborting 6 pregnancies for her predator, she was young and naive then, I was not there for her, I failed as a mother, if there is anybody that needed to go through pain again it should be me because have caused her a lot" my mum said and I scoffed, Shinaayo was stunned by the information.

"What? How come I never knew that about her? Why was I kept in the dark?" He asked no one in particular but with the look he earned from me, he simply shut up.

"That is the truth, in fact she was being tormented by it for long, you are her first love, you guys(pointing to ayobami and Shinaayo) luminates her life, which am grateful of, she moved on when you were with her, she was happy to be with you, she wants the best for her life and marriage not wanting to be a mother as I am but you just shattered her only hope" my mum said and started crying.

"Guy no just stand like that, please do the needful" Ayobami said giving Shinaayo a hard look.

"I'm sorry ma, I don't know this is what happened am not aware of it..." Shinaayo said to my mum "...Baby am deeply sorry, I promised to make it up with you, I will never lay a finger on you again" he said.

Seriously??? Just like that? Two months of pains, two months of sorrow, two months of soaking my pillow with my tears? The half sleep and waking up in fear of what I woke up to; ended with AM SORRY, wow! I made a hollow laugh.

"Beautiful rubbish! Fantastic nonsense! You think you can just say sorry and I will accept your apology? After all what you made me go through? Should I remind you that you've once said when am tired of the pains I will leave your life? Yeah you are right... Being that am tired not just tired of the pains but tired of the inflicter as well; on this note am done!" I said and rushed outside. Ayobami quickly followed me, my mum calling after me, withal I can't even stay in that room any longer, I felt like I'm loosing my breath.

I half run and half walk on the street looking like someone who's insane, of course at this moment I guess I'm insane, I bend on my knees and made a loud yell, opening my mouth and closing it to maintain my breathing as I felt my heart will burst out of my chest.

"Please stop, you can't keep doing this to yourself, please enter the car" ayobami tried to stop me for the umpteenth time, i forgot that he had been tailing behind me, I gave in and entered his car, he can take me anywhere apart from near that beast, if he does I will surely loose the remaining sanity in me.

Omo! This is not a good one sincerely, you might be sorry for your actions but sorry is never enough for someone you caused pain, it takes one to apologise yet the takes so many things for the apology to be accepted, the pain, tears, fears, cries, heartbeat unstable whenever they remember, brain; bringing back memories and mind resonating the scenario, it is never easy to let go, one can forgive but never forgets, So, please put in your best never to find yourself in a situation whereby being the cause of another person's pain, sufferings, anger and trauma.
My heart goes out to those in pain, after the rain the sun will shine, after the dark; light will surface, may God light up your life, ease your pains and comfort you all.🌹🌹🌹