Divine Intervention: One Shots

It Turns Out Fine

The fire in his eyes was practically scorching my skin. The tension in the room was suffocating. The anger wasn’t directed at me, but I think I was about to be collateral damage. I wasn’t even sure if I should ask what was wrong. He had recently gotten off the phone with his management and he was obviously upset about something, but he wasn’t saying much. His hair was a mess where he had run his hands through it. He was pacing and muttering to himself. I had never seen him like this and I was at a complete loss on how to diffuse the situation. 

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak, not quite sure what words were going to come out of my mouth. “Av–”.

He growled. “Stop. Just stop.” He held up his hand and cut me off. I just closed my mouth and tried not to get mad at his mad. It was not going to get us anywhere. I let out the deep breath that I had taken in. His voice changed and he looked at the floor defeated. “It’s not you and I don’t want to take this out on you.” He ran his hands through his hair and yanked on the ends. “Argh! I can’t talk about it either. I don’t think.” He paced around the living room a bit more. “Let me be. I’ll be back. I promise.” He crossed the room to me, hugged me, and kissed my forehead. His face softened. “I love you.” Wiping a tear, he turned and headed out the door.

“I love you too”, I whispered to the door as it closed. I wiped my own tears away. He hadn’t meant to, but he hurt my feelings. I had no idea what could have made him so mad, but we were going to tie our lives together. Why couldn’t he tell me? I knew not to go after him, but I had no idea what I should do. I grabbed a bottle of water, collected myself, and called Esther. Frankly she still intimidated me from time to time, but if anyone could help me out, she was the one. I took a deep breath and selected her contact.

She answered pretty quickly and cheerfully. “Hey soon to be sis, what’s up?” 

I sighed and forgot how to speak. “I don’t honestly know.” My voice broke and her tone changed instantly.

“Oh sweetie. Take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on.”

I did my best and relayed what little I knew for fact and how he was acting. “Why can’t he tell me? Is it more that he doesn’t want to?” I had been pacing but I allowed myself to drop onto the couch. “I am so lost.”

She got quiet for a minute on the other end. “If its what I think it is, he actually can’t tell you. Contractually. The only things that seem to affect him like this are things that he thought were in the past, or personal attacks.” She sighed this time. “I hope it’s not what I have a feeling it is.”

I took a deep breath and uttered the letters I didn’t want to. “PTX?”

Her quiet confirmed my suspicions. She finally broke the silence. “His leaving wasn’t quite as amicable on the business end as everyone thought. There was a non-compete clause and stipulations on release dates and touring for a certain amount of time. I think those pieces have passed, but there are a lot of other things that I am not aware of. Neither party can talk about a lot of it.” Her voice was thick. “Let me guess, he took off out into the woods.” 

I nodded before I realized she couldn’t see me. “Yep. I don’t even know if he has his phone. What do I do?”

“Unfortunately, not much.” She paused. “He will be ok. He’ll be back and he’ll tell you what he can. If he doesn’t apologize, make him. He needs to know that your feelings are hurt. He doesn’t always realize that he needs to do damage control.” She sighed again. “He internalizes a lot without remembering that he has so much support around him. Hold him accountable, but be gentle. If you need me to come over let me know, I am actually in the state for a few days. I love you two.”

I gave her my love, thanked her, and assured her I would take her advice. I hung up and cried for a bit. I cried for the hurt he carried all by himself. I cried for the fact that things weren’t all sunshine and rainbows like people thought. I cried that he shouldered it all with a smile slapped on his face. I wondered how deep it all went. He didn’t talk about his time with PTX all that much but he didn’t ignore it. He still talked to Kevin as much as possible, but I rarely ever heard the other member’s names. He’s the only one I had ever met. Thinking about that made my heart hurt more. 

I have no idea how much time had passed, but the sun that had been high in the sky, had started its descent. I went upstairs and stripped the beds, remade them and got the bedding in the washing machine, I cleaned an already clean kitchen and wandered aimlessly around the house. The sun had just about set when I finally heard him come in the back door. His face told me a lot. It was somber and drawn. 

The tone of his voice was low and hard to discern. “I’m sorry about that. I needed to step away so that I didn’t take things out on you that you have no part of.” He met my eyes and he could tell that I had been crying. He stepped to me slowly and pulled me into his arms. “I am so, so sorry. It was foolish of me to treat you that way.” He was swallowing back his own tears. “Legally I can’t talk a lot about what’s going on, just know that none of this has anything to do with you.” He held me tight and stroked my hair. “I love you. This will sort, it’s just a minor setback for now, but it will work out. I never want you to have to see me like that again.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to get like that again. It’s not good for anyone.”

There were no words for me to say. I held him in return and rubbed his back. It was going to be okay and someday he might be able to be more open with me, but for now I would just be there for him in whatever capacity I could be. I was able to find a few words. "It turns out fine."