Cherry

Chapter 15

Cherry

"Do you ever wonder about your dad, Cherry?" Mom asks me as we eat our supper together at the table.

"Sometimes," I tell her. I never met my dad, but he occasionally crosses my mind. I wonder if things would be different if he were here with us. Would my mom be nicer to me?

My mom laughs at me. With each chuckle, they intensify harder and faster. She laughs until she can barely breathe. Her laughter soon turns into tears as she says, "You know, he'd still be here if it weren't for you."

A pain shoots through my chest. "What do you mean, Mom?"

"Robert never wanted kids," she chuckles painfully. "Neither did I. When I found out I was pregnant, it scared him off. I showed him the pregnancy test, and the next morning, he was gone. You ran off your own dad, Cherry."

Speechless, all I do is look down at my plate of food and stare. I don't know why she would say these hurtful things to me.

"I tried getting an abortion so he'd take me back. Did you know that? I tried to abort you, Cherry," she throws in my face. I had never known that, so it came as a shock to me. I begin to feel tears fall down my cheeks, and watch them fall into my dinner plate. 

I don't have much of an appetite anymore, anyways.

"Aw, cat got your tongue?" she taunts me as I stay silent.

My eyes don't move away from my plate, but I can hear my mom rise out of her chair. She throws it across the room, and as it crashes against the wall, I jump out of my skin. I begin to cry hard; harder than I ever have, perhaps.

"Did you hear me?" she walks over to me and grabs my chin harshly, causing me to face her instead of my dinner. "You ruined my fucking life!"

"Please let go of me," I cry as her grip on me intensifies.

"Even your fucking dad didn't want you!" she laughs in my face. "You're not special to anyone, Cherry. The only thing you're good for is helping me with my medicine," she finally lets go of my chin, but makes sure to spit in my face before she leaves me alone. I quickly wipe her saliva off my face, causing the sleeve of my shirt to be soaked with tears and spit.

"You ruined my life," she repeats as she walks to the counter to grab her needle with medicine. "You ruined my life, you ruined my life, you ruined my life," she sings as she prepares to inject herself. She presses her arm, and before she inserts the needle, she says, "You wanna do this for me, or do you want to get hit?"

I have no other choice but to walk over to my mom, still crying my eyes out from fear. Hands shaking, I go to grab the needle from her like I have countless times before. Just as it enters my hands, I accidentally drop it on the floor from my nervousness.

"You worthless idiot!" my mom yells, accompanied by a forceful slap on the right side of my face. "You can't do anything right, can you?" She grips my arm and squeezes, dragging me through the house as she walks forcefully. Once we reach my room, she pushes me inside and slams the door shut, creating a barrier between us.

"You ruined my life!" she yells from behind my door.

I lock my door and run to my bed to hide underneath my covers. I've always felt safe here. Like how most kids hide from monsters in their room, I hide from my mom. I sob so much that my bedsheets and blanket become soaked. At this point, it feels like I've been crying repeatedly for years.

Interrupting my sobbing, I hear a knock on my door. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean any of that. Please let your mom inside. Let's talk." Whenever I stay in bed and don't open my door, I hear banging. Banging.