Swapped ☹ Muke

20

I MET LIKE ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE EVER YESTERDAY AND LIKE IM VV HAPPY SO LIKE I TRIED TO MAKE A CUTE CHAPTER SO I HOPE ITS GOOD ILY.
:: Michael ::

The past two weeks have been so weird, and I really don't know how to feel about it. Because for almost three weeks I've been clean -- not that I wanted to -- because I've been in Luke's body, but that's also a good thing in Ashton's eyes.

Not to mention how nice Ashton has been to me, it's cute how nice he's being but I don't like being a burden. Though I have to admit it's been making me happy, genuinely happy to wake up with him cuddled to my side and doing everything possible to make me laugh.

My favorite thing is how he lets me sleep in and I wake up to the smell of breakfast and the sound of whatever Will Smith movie he chooses to watch for the day. He always comes in with the plate in hand and a wide smile, "breakfast in bed for my princess." He'll always say resulting in a large smile in return.

He's just been trying so hard, and I feel like it's really doing something good for me. But I also have that sick (a/n : I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE DICK AND WAS DYING) feeling deep in my gut that as soon as Luke and I were back to ourselves everything would go back to what it used to be, and I don't want that.

Speaking of Luke, he hasn't acknowledged my existence all week as if that's going to help us get back to normal. I don't understand why, every time I see him he'll simply look down and walk away and it's killing me to know he won't even talk to me.

So today I decided to stay in bed even when Ashton tried to take me out for pizza, I felt horrible seeing his pouting expression but I also knew he would love to go out with just Calum because it's quite obvious they have a thing for each other.

I was starving that's for sure but I wouldn't admit to Ashton that I threw my food in the trash as he turned his back, it would kill him to know I wasn't fully getting better. But every time I go to skip a meal I remember I'm in Luke's body and have to drag myself into the kitchen and force myself to choke down a bit of food.

Getting to my feet and going downstairs made me feel so weak, I should've been laying in bed thinking of how I could end everything not shoving food down my throat, but once again I couldn't do that because I'm in fucking Luke Hemmings body -- Mr. Perfect with his blonde hair and blue eyes, his long legs and broad shoulders, his cute laugh and angelic voice, everybody's dream guy, everything I could never be.

As I touched down on the main floor I wanted to run back up the stairs, because standing in front of me was a hunched over figure with familiar sobs emitting from his lips, the same cries I was so used to hearing every night.

"Luke?" I asked and he twirled around looking at me in shock.

"F-fuck. I-I'm uh." He choked out before shaking his head and dropping himself into my arms as I held him tightly, he looked broken and I began to wonder if this is how people always saw me.

"Shh, listen to me Lukey -- take a deep breath and count to five then repeat it a few times." I whispered stroking his hair as he complied, I clutched him tightly in fear that he'd evaporate and seriously began to hate myself because this is how I used to make Ashton feel every fucking day.

"T-there's so much of it, I don't l-like what they say." He whimpered.

"What are you talking about baby?"

"H-hate, why do they have to hate you? Mikey you're so pretty and everything about you is so perfect and it makes me so jealous. Why don't they s-see you like I do, the beautiful boy who's an absolute kitten and tries to make e-everybody happy even when he's broken. I just want them to love you like I do."

My head was spinning as I looked at the boy in my arms, he'd just said something so sweet and caring to me as he had tears running down his cheeks -- he looked so genuine, he didn't laugh afterwards and I felt like what he was saying was true.

I shook my head, "babe they're just saying what they see."

He looked at me in disbelief and pulled out of my arms making me whimper at the loss of contact, I felt so safe with out bodies pressed together, like that's how it's supposed to be forever. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt over his head and looked down with a sad expression.

"Look closely Mikey, what do you see?" He asked gesturing towards my body.

I studied my pale complexion, it pained me to see how much my stomach stuck out and bunched up in areas -- I was simply fat and there was no denying it. "F-fat, all I see is fat." I whispered feeling a tear slip down my cheek.

"Okay now close your eyes and give me your hand."

I furrowed my eyebrows but complied feeling him take my hand in his, "now tell me what do you feel?"

My fingers brushed over a flat surface, trailing up towards where I was assuming was my upper torso and ran over bumps, protruding bumps. Then higher, towards my shoulders, and brushed over collar bones, prominent and sharp collar bones. I choked out a sob and shook my head. "B-bones."

He let go of my hand and brushed away a falling tear, "kitten you're not fat, you're underweight but you're still beautiful. So fucking beautiful and I just want you to see that, I want you to see every little detail about yourself that makes me like you. From your beautiful eyes, not how they are now where they always looked clouded and lost, but when you had that beautiful sparkle that lit up the room. To your smile, that damn smile you always seem to hate, and I've never understood why because you have these cherry red lips that drive me wild and I just really fucking lo--"

I placed a light kiss to his lips to silence him, I wasn't going to go all intense because that would be making out with myself, but enough to make my heart flutter and feel him smile into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around me.