Swapped ☹ Muke

26

*casually starts another story that's probably going to make myself cry and get no views bc it sounds stupid even though I'm excited*
:: Luke ::

Calum choked on a piece of popcorn and was sputtering trying to stop coughing seeing as everybody was too in shock to pay attention to him. And let's just say a hole magically appeared in the wall right by where I was standing.

"No." I growled.

"No what?" Michael asked and I knew he was simply playing innocent, he had no feelings for Ashton right?

"You don't love Ashton, you love me." I said as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

He snorted and shook his head, "I loved you, past tense Luke. Yeah I used to really genuinely love you but every fucking time I let myself trust you to let you in you ruin it. Remember the first time where you beat the shit out of me for no reason when I confessed I loved you?"

"T-that's not what happened." I stuttered with tears threatening me to flow freely and make me look weak.

"Oh really now? You don't remember calling me a fag and getting me sent to the damn hospital because you kissed me and I said that I loved you? Because trust me I fucking remember it." He spat trying to hold his composure but I could see he was cracking down as he glared at me.

"Sorry?"

"Sorry! All you're going to say is sorry, that's like saying hey I kinda killed your mother and threw her in the ocean but I can buy you a cookie. Seriously fuck you Luke, fuck you." He turned on his heel.

I reached out and grabbed him by the wrist pulling him into my chest as he thrashed against my hold. "Listen to me Michael."

"Suck a cactus cock."

Feisty kitten is sinking his claws in.

Ew why did Gordon have to come back.

"After you hear me out." I said as he slumped in my and and turned to face me with a huff. "Yeah what I've done to you over the years had been unacceptable and definitely not forgivable but I'm going to try to get you to understand my side of this."

It's okay Lucas, he's done worse to himself.

I winced at what Gordon said and continued my mini speech.

"Okay yeah I'm an asshole but I'm also a teenage boy with intermittent explosive disorder, I'm bipolar and I have to take damn anti-psychotics. It's hard to control sometimes."

"And me having anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder isn't hard to control?" He questioned.

Aw where was my mention?

"That's not what I'm saying Michael. Anyway I've always had trouble handling my emotions and sometimes when I bottle my anger up for too long I snap, I-I don't know why it always seems to be you but I just lash out on people."

"That doesn't change the fact that you broke me down every time I fixed myself." He muttered.

"J-just try to understand me Mikey please that's all I want. I want you to understand I love you with my all, I would take a bullet for you, I would give you the world, I just have uncontrollable anger and I snap over every little thing. But if me letting you go makes you happy then I'll gladly call that psycho bitch and get us swapped back so you can move on and be happy with whoever you want to be with."

He stared at me occasionally wiping away a few tears as he shook his head.

I looked over at Calum and Ashton who sat with angry expressions and I knew they were pissed off at me, who wouldn't be -- but I needed this right here and right now.

Michael laughed making me raise an eyebrow and look at him.

"You really don't get it do you?" He sighed.

"Get what?"

"Exactly! You don't seem to get how hard this is on me too because I've always loved you but you've broken me so many times I don't want to fucking go back to you -- fuck I hate you for making me feel this way Luke. This is exactly what it was like for my mom when she was in an abusive relationship, she couldn't get away."

"T-this isn't an abusive relationship." I gaped just wishing for him to never think like that even though it was the truth.

"It is though Luke, and it's like you're simply intoxicating and I'm an alcoholic and alcoholics are addicts -- so you're kinda like my very own drug, no matter how bad you are for me and no matter how hard I want to get away I fucking can't. I fucking can't because I love you."

He looked at me with wide eyes and a hand clamped over his mouth.

I stared back in equivalent shock and surely Ashton and Calum were biting their nails -- and possibly planning my death because I didn't deserve Michael, god he deserves so much better than me.

His removed his hand and opened and closed his mouth which kinda resembled a goldfish.

"D-did I just?" He asked.

"You did." I said still feeling like this was some weird dream.

The room began to spin slightly as I clenched my eyes shut. My head began to pound and I felt like crying at the constant thumping as I let out a shriek. Everything was kinda hazy and I decided to keep my eyes clamped shut as I clutched my head and bend downward.