How To Kill A Zombie

Why do the hot ones gotta be crazy?

(I haven't written in forever Jeez man. I forgot I hade to make a new chapter sorry XD I'll make the next few chapters as long as I can think of for compensation, Kay? Kay.)

"Whoa buddy, not like THAT! I mean like have you over for dinner, and we could use some extra hands."

I let out a huge sigh of relief. I really didn't wanna end up fighting for my life against the first people I meet. That's just bad manners.

"Heh just kidding were totally gunna eat you. Sorry bro. "

"Fuck...c'mon. Dammit. Please?"

"Eh. Not my choice. It's his. "

She nods over to Jase. I looked over to him too, expecting a reaction. He just shrugged. "I saw you and thought you were dead. Or close to it. Were hungry, so we decided we'd eat you. Never eaten a human before, most likely tastes like chicken."

His sister/friend/girlfriend cuts him off.
"Hopefully. We don't want some weird ass meat in out meat, so could you like...taste good for us? Please?"

I look at her with an expression of what-the-hell-ness. "Why is this just an average conversation? I'm sorry, but I've survived this long and I don't wanna be eaten by the first people I meet."

The girl shrugs. "I'd guess no one would. Sorry dude. You could fight instead, but that'd mess up your meat so please don't."

I sigh. "Can I at least ask one thing?"

She nods, a little suspicious. "Sure...what is it?"

I look into her eyes. "What is the name of the beautiful maiden before me..?"

Her cheeks went tomato red. "..I-i...uh...j...jad....jade..." She seemed to zone off thinking of my comment with a blush. Bought myself some time. Yus.

"okaY THANKS FOR THE HOSPITALITY BUT I GOTTA BLAST BOOM BYE"

I jump out of the nearest door to us to end up in another room. I go through the left door there then I was in a circle-ish room. I could hear Jase behind me, catching up.

It's either left or window, and I'm sure left will put me closer to where they were, so I look out the window.

Loooong way down...i see something I could latch onto if I'm fast enough, but I don't know how big the fall will be from that point either. I'm stuck. Oh crap I'm stuck. NOOOT good. Where do I go-

"Mrewow."

"Butters! Hey girl! Question, how the hell do I get outta here??"

She stares. Like a cat would give me directio-
She starts to walk to the left door, looking back at me. She DOES know the way out!

"Alright butters! Lead the way!"
I run after her, pumped on adrenaline. She's running through each door like she knows exactly where to go-

"Oh hey kid...that...was nice of you to say..."

Dammit. Butters led me in a fucking circle. "Oh come on. "

Her rosy cheeks prevented her from looking at me, unless she wanted them to get even redder. She glanced over every few seconds at my heavy breathing. I look at butterscotch, who is rubbing herself in my lap. "Well thanks a lot butters. Ya dunce."

I sit there for around 5 minutes before Jase comes back. "I'll kill that kid for making a move on you- YOUUUUUUUU!"

"....uh....sorry?"

Jade puts her hand up. "I-It's fine Jase....it's okay. It was nice." She blushes and sends a small smile my way.

Jase gives me a look of death. "Jade?"

"Hmm?"

"Get the special stick."

"Already got it."

I look at them with caution. "Special what now?"

Jade looks at me with a blush. "Sorry bud. But it's nappy time. "

"What the hell? No it's not... It's only like 9 o'clock and plus it's a zombie apocalypse there are no curfews-"

She knocks me over the head with a metal pole.

Well. I guess it was bedtime.

Slowly, I awoke to the sound of small purring. No idea how long I was out for. "Wha...? Butters...?"

"You stupid fuck...trying to take my girl."

I put a hand on my head. It aches. "Hello to you too, Jase."

I hear a high pitched giggling. "Heyyy zaack." And another growl comes from Jase. I look at jade. " you do realize you're just making the situation worse for me."

"Soooorry."

I get up on my knees.

"Are you really? You just seem to be having a lot of fun."
"Well that's cuz I am."

Jase sighs. "Alright bud. We've been talking in the time you were unconscious and we've come up with a.... how do I say..."solution", I guess, to you and our problem."

The grin on his face told me that this wasn't going to be good. He'd probably say something crazy, like lock me up in a box filled with roaches or throw me out the window a few times. No matter what he had planned, there's no way it could be goo-

"You are now our pet. Servant. Slave. Whatever you wanna call it."

Or that. It could be something insane like that.

Crap.

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Sorry for the really long chapter wait guys. I've been really busy with the end of the school year, with all the testing and such. But once I'm in the clear, I'll try to write as much as I can. Feel free to remind me to write in the message box 😅

-Alex0987