(n) - someone who hides pain behind a smile
Pronounced: ek-suh-den-tee-zee-ist
•Emiliano's pov•
She's not disgusted by me. She supports me. She's not going to insult me, bring me down, confirm my doubts and fears. She's going to love me, just like she did before I told her. Now I just have to find a way to make it up to him.
Let's backtrack, yeah?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 days ago
"Make sure your hands are in the right place, pointer on the trigger. Your eye on your target, straight ahead. Be steady, stance should be firm. Take a deep breath and... fire."
A shot rings through the shooting range. I smile when I see that there's a bullet through the head of the target and kiss my boyfriend on his cheek.
"Well done babe. You'll be a pro in no time."
"Only because I have an amazing teacher." He says as he turns to give me a kiss. We practice a little more before I take him out for ice cream and then to the park. I have my arm around his shoulders as we walk through the park eating ice cream. My family thinks I'm hanging out with a few friends, so I know I'm ok right now.
"So, have you told your family about us?" He asks curiously. He's been wanting me to tell them for a long while now, but I haven't. I hesitate before answering.
"...No."
"Emiliano." Now I know he's upset.
"I'm sorry, alright. I'm just scared."
"Are you? Or are you just so ashamed of me and your sexuality that you can't even handle the thought of telling anyone?" His voice raises a little.
"Of course I'm not ashamed of you-"
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not!"
"Really?"
"Yes, baby. I'm going to tell them eventually, I just need more time."
"More time?.... You've had 3 years! Am I that much of fucking disappointment that you won't even tell your family about your sexuality? Never mind our relationship?"
He cursed.
He never curses.
"You aren't a disappointment Calum, you know that.
"Do I? You haven't taken any action to show it. Every time we're together, I see you looking around for someone in your family to make sure they're not there. You think that makes me feel good?"
I'm silent.
"Look Lio, I can't keep putting myself in this position. If you don't want to tell your family about us, if you want to keep me a secret and continue to act like it doesn't affect me, then you don't want there to be an us anymore. Once you get your shit together, then we can talk. Until then, don't expect me to answer any of your calls." He states angrily. He walks away without even giving a glance back at me while I stand there trying to take in what just happened.
What have I done?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Present Day
I've been trying to contact Calum for 4 days now, but he won't answer. When I'm not busy calling him or sulking in my room, I'm contemplating the last few days and what Calum said. I realize that he's right. We've been dating for three years and I have yet to tell my family about him. Who wouldn't feel ashamed of? I've done nothing but hurt him and he's dealt with it for 3 years. He's tried to understand my fears about being anything but straight. He knows it's not something that's widely accepted in the mafia world.
YOU ARE READING
Forever & Always
Azione(This book has been revised and edited. Enjoy :) Winter Maria Lykaios is a 16 year old girl with a fucked up past. Coming from a mafia family, the Greek mafia at that, life wasn't easy for her. With her parents giving her up when she was only 6 yea...
