Chapter 6: Is this what suffocating feels like?

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The atmosphere was ice-cold when I drove Ari to work. She wasn't exactly happy about me telling her that I haven't yet decided on what to do about going out for dinner. "Don't always think about you", she had scolded me, "When's the last time you did something for me?" "I bought you flowers yesterday", I tried to reason. "Soobin, darling, I meant when was the last time you did something special for me?", she went on. I tried to understand her point of view but got distracted by her wrapping her hands around my neck, her lips dangerously close to mine. "It's only this one wish I have, sweetheart. Only this one, you know? And I dreamed of it for so long already. Haven't you gotten a raise recently?", she mused. It had been a quite small raise, not making that much difference. I shrugged helplessly. "You'll figure it out, I know you will", she went on, "But don't forget how much I would love that." She pouted a bit and then leaned in closer, kissing me gently, deeply, this time allowing my tongue to enter.

She was definitely messing with my head; she had never lost this impact over me since day one. Wasn't this how love was supposed to feel like after all? Your girl having this power over you was normal, wasn't it? Why did it feel so off lately?

"How about watching a movie together tonight?", she suddenly suggested as I stopped the car in front of her company. "I wanted to call my parents tonight", I said apologetically. "Oh you can do that while I get ready for it", she told me with a seductive smile and then leaned over to peck my cheek, "See you at 6pm then." "But-", I spoke up, stopping abruptly as she was already out of the car. I sighed. Well. 15 minutes of calling my parents had to be enough then. I pulled out of the parking lot to drive to my work place.

•••••••

"Okay, bye, I love you all", I said into the phone before hanging up and taking a deep breath. Exactly on time, yet Ari had rung the doorbell already five minutes ago and I had let her in. She had apologized, telling me she had forgotten about my planned call. Now she sat on my couch, looking good as ever. I couldn't avoid looking at her daring neckline, more low-cut than usual. Her skirt was not short, yet not long either. She wore a bit of mascara and the perfume I had bought for her because it suited her so well. "Come on already", she said and patted the space next to her. As soon as I dropped down, she cuddled up to me, her hand drawing patterns on my neck. I took it, blew a kiss on it and then just kept on holding it. I didn't feel like it today.

"I already chose a good one while waiting for you", she announced and pressed play before I even could read the title. Alright. We wouldn't choose together then. I didn't really pay attention to the movie and honestly barely to her neither. My mind was occupied with trying to sort out my mind on what to do about the restaurant. I knew what I wanted but shouldn't I put back my own wishes for her this time? I had done something stupid by inviting Kasumi and even meeting her on purpose in the shop. She was in the rights, wasn't she? Maybe I should buy whisky instead of a meal though. It seemed to be the better investment.

I snapped out of it as I suddenly felt her lips on my neck, teasingly wandering up to my face. She looked at me seductively before kissing me on my mouth, her tongue running over my lips. Immediately, I forgot everything around me and kissed her back, passionately, almost desperate as if she held the answer to my question. Which somehow, she did. I tasted her skin carefully as my lips wandered down her neck and I could hear her breath heavily. Her hands found their way underneath my shirt, exploring my bare skin. "Oh Soobin", she sighed, pulling my head closer to her, one hand entangled in my hair while the other one was running over my stomach. We dropped back on the couch, me on top of her and I cautiously pulled up her shirt a bit while kissing her collarbones. She lifted my head, locked eyes with me and kissed me on my mouth again. My hands gently brushed over her bare stomach now.

However, she suddenly pushed me back and sat up, tidying her hair while taking a breath. I looked at her confused. She smiled victoriously. "Treat me to a meal in the restaurant and I'll let you taste everything", she said with luring voice and got up, bending down again to peck my cheek. "Think about it", she told me and before I could fully get back to my senses, I already heard her closing the door behind her. The only other thing to be heard was the movie that was still running.

•••••••

I couldn't sleep again. My head was going crazy still, only thinking what had happened about an hour ago on the couch. It was not really contributing to making a decision. I wished something would just suddenly pop up and tell me what to do. Or that I could just leave and start new somewhere far away. I couldn't deny that the female being in general held incredible power over men. And Ari knew that exactly. And she knew how to use it. Should I just treat her to a meal? Everything would go back to its old state then. Or so I at least hoped. And I was wishing for that the most. Or was I? Frustrated, I ruffled my hair.

It had been so easy back then. Now that I thought about it though, when was the last time she had done something for me? Without expecting something back, just because she loved me? There barely was anything and the things I did remember where so far back that I almost forgot about them already. I sighed and sat up. I wouldn't be able to sleep like this. It was such a waste because I really needed the sleep. At least I could sleep in tomorrow. It was Saturday. Just then, a thought struck my mind. I got out my phone and looked at it thoughtfully. I needed to try it. I took a deep breath and pressed the call button, hoping it was the right number.

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