"Sorry", I said after I finally had calmed down again. "What for?", Kasumi asked while still stroking my back. I held onto her for dear life, I realized. But for this once it must okay. "Soobin", she continued, "Sadness and grieve are a natural response to loss and you lost your girlfriend in a very cruel way. It's not a shame to cry, it's necessary. You gotta do it to let go and go on. Take your time and grieve, it's good for your health and getting over it, believe me. Just don't let it take over your whole life."
I looked at her, her eyes filled with whatever this unknown feeling in them was, but also with something that told me to listen closely now. "I had promised Minhyuk to live on, remember?", she went on and I nodded. "Well", she sighed, "I did somehow. Do you wanna know how? I didn't allow myself to properly grieve over him and it slowly ate me up. Until I ran into you. That evening I let it all out. And it was good that there was somebody listening to me cause all this time, nobody except for my brother and my cousin knew. I had to tell someone else everything. And that's when I was able to finally let it go. Everyone deals differently with loss, some have to grieve openly, some silently. It's okay to cry. You just should never continuously cry alone, okay?" I nodded obediently. It wasn't the kind of obeyance as with Ari where I just did what she had wanted me to because I desperately clung onto our relationship, onto that habit of having her around. It was obeyance because I knew she was right. And if she wouldn't be, I could decide to not do or believe something and she wouldn't be mad at me. She would stay. I took a deep breath and started to tell her everything. How I met Ari, how we came to be, how it was at first and also how it slowly changed. Everything.
•••••••
I had ended long ago, yet we still sat here, Kasumi still holding me in her embrace. "Can you stay with me this night?", I asked shyly. She tilted her head and smiled softly though her eyes told me that she was taken by surprise for a second. "I already told you that I'll stay for as long as you need me", she gave back and squeezed me shortly. "Then I should get your bed done", I announced and slowly got up, suddenly held back by her. "Chill, I'll just sleep on the couch. There's a pillow and a blanket and I can still see all the sleepover-supplies over there", she grinned. I grimaced. That had been Ari's.
She immediately caught on to it. "But on the other hand, I am a lady with standards", she said theatrically, "I won't use stuff that isn't completely new. Take them out, servant." I couldn't avoid chuckling. She somehow hit the right nerve again. I walked over and took them. "It's too bad to throw them away", I thought out loud. Kasumi suddenly emerged next to me and I flinched as she put her hand on my shoulder. She grinned and then said: "Then let's return it to the owner." As I looked at her, I realized the mischief glinting in her beautiful eyes. "Huh?", I asked.
•••••••
We had put the box in front of Ari's door, rang the doorbell and dashed off, laughing like little kids as we hid around the corner. Kasumi had been quite creative. She had emptied the toothpaste and mixed it with Ari's lotion. The toothbrush was holding only half of its brush, the rest of it mixed with her body oil. And the make-up? I had wanted to give it to Kasumi since it was too expensive to waste it away. Yet, she had neglected it, saying that she barely would use it. Instead, we had agreed on giving it to a friend of hers that could probably make good use of it in her position as a stylist.
I grabbed Kasumi's hand automatically while we walked away from Ari's house and towards mine. "Fate sent you to me", I declared and she laughed her beautiful, bright and clear laugh. "You helped me out first", she remined me and squeezed my hand. "Still", I insisted before letting go off her hand again. Back at home, I had held her back from going to the living room. "I don't like the idea of you sleeping on the couch like this. Let's get you some more pillows and a proper blanket", I said. She looked at me curiously and I motioned her to follow me while entering my bedroom. "Choose whatever you want", I told her and pointed to my bed. She looked around interested while walking over.
A sudden hiss made her flinch, but not scared at all she walked over to where the sound came from. I realized that my pet hadn't had his food yet. "Hello there, little friend", she said with a voice so soft it almost got carried away before it reached my ears, "No need to stare at me so hostilely." She was endearing. "Odi doesn't like strangers", I explained while getting some mealworms for the hedgehog, "Sometimes he doesn't even like me." Kasumi chuckled and looked at me while I squatted down next to her. "Can I give him one of those?", she asked and pointed to the mealworms. Surprised, I nodded and held out the box to her. "Be careful though", I said. "Always am", she promised and held out the food for Odi. I was surprised to see him carefully approaching her, sniffing loudly and then snatching the snack from her before running away again. She laughed softly. "He's adorable", she stated and I nodded. "How do you know it's a him?", I then asked, realizing it. She shrugged. "Men usually are easily swayed with food", she grinned back mischievously. I rolled my eyes smiling and finally filled Odi's bowl. We watched him eat a bit and as I glimpsed over to her, I saw the same expression I had seen in her eyes a few times already. The one I couldn't really pinpoint. And then it hit me. It was affection.
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The day I rescued you and everything changed (TxT's Soobin Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"'Though I don't get one thing', she suddenly spoke up, almost making me flinch. I looked at her. 'You don't know me and I could be pretty much indifferent to you. A person with manners would have caught me when we ran into each other or pulled me b...