The day I rescued you and everything changed (TxT's Soobin Fanfiction)

Chapter 8: And I still didn't understand it

The call with Kasumi had indeed helped me somehow. However, I still didn't know what to do. She had told me that they had been a couple for five years. I guess things were quite different therefore. I on the other hand had started going out with Ari about a year ago. Maybe I needed to take a risk for us now. I sighed and turned around in my bed, still not really able to sleep. "Sleep now, Soobin", Kasumi had told me a bit earlier, "I mean it, at least try to, please. Like Minhyuk always had said: The morning is wiser than the evening. Our brains don't work properly if we are too tired and as far as I remember, you already have two long nights on your record lately." I sighed again. What if I would stay stubborn and not invite Ari in the restaurant? I wasn't that obsessed to sleep with her that this would be the only motivation to do so. Still, the thought of it made me go crazy. Ari knew how to use her power too well. Plus, I had done something wrong by inviting Kasumi over and then even lying. And I knew that Ari had wanted to go to that restaurant for so long already, so was it really such a hassle to fulfil this wish? What was it that kept bothering me?

Somewhere along thinking, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up and blinked sleepily. The sun shone into my room, lighting it up stronger than usually. Right, I had opened my curtains to look out into the night sky while talking to Kasumi yesterday and then forgot to close them again. One look at my clock told me it was already 2pm. I sighed and peeled myself out of my blanket, sulking as the coldness of the room got a hold of me. I scuffed into the bathroom for a refreshing shower. After getting changed and eating something, I felt a bit more alive. I looked outside. Not a cloud to be seen. I decided to spend the day outside, in the nearby park. But beforehand, I wanted to go talk to Ari; maybe I could make a decision spontaneously. Although I was pretty sure to have made one already. I just needed the very last push. However, as she wasn't home, I just shrugged and left. I'd talk to her later then.

•••••••

I strolled along in the park, not sure where exactly I was heading to as I got aware of a familiar figure on a nearby bench. It was almost like a déjà-vu. A mysteriously beautiful young woman on a bench with a book in her hands. But this time it wasn't the train station. She even was reading the book. And this time I knew her name, knew how it felt like when her eyes stared into my soul and how her laugh sounded. And I at least could suspect what would make her stop in awe.

I let myself drop next to her and she looked up confused. Her face lit up as she recognized me. "Soobin", she exclaimed and lay the book aside, "Have you slept well?" "Could have been better but it wasn't bad", I told her, "And you? After my nocturnal disturbance?" She chuckled softly. "I slept well, don't worry", she answered and waved it off, "Have you made your decision?" "Not entirely, but I think I am getting there slowly", I told her. "What are you leaning towards then?", she wanted to know. "Asking her out", I confessed. She looked at me like she wanted to scold me but didn't. Why did I feel like this was not what she wanted to hear? Or rather – why was this what she didn't want to hear?

I decided to change topic and pointed to the book: "What were you reading?" For a split second I could see something like melancholy on her face. "It's 'Me before you'", she said quietly and picked it up again. I tilted my head. She brushed invisible dust from the cover and added: "It's the last book I read to Minhyuk. The one we couldn't finish." "Oh", I managed to get out. She shrugged. "I guess since the anniversary I slowly started to move on, found a task I could commit myself to somehow. Something where I am needed. Or so I guess... Anyway, I decided to give life a chance to get a hold of me again. And the first step would be to finish this book", she said. "Sounds good", I muttered, unsure what else I could say.

"And the second step", she spoke up after a short moment of silence and locked eyes with me, sadness but also determination in them, "The second step is to move back to my hometown." My eyes widened. "What?", I blurted out, "But you – I - I mean... Why?" I felt desperation crawling up in me before I even realized it. She couldn't leave me. She was the only friend I still had after I started going out with Ari. Somehow, I barely had had time for my old friends and over time we grew apart. I couldn't as well lose her now. And most importantly – the thought alone made my heart ache. I didn't want to lose her.

She reached her hand out as if she wanted to caress my cheek but let it drop again and then said with shaky voice: "I guess I can't stay in a city where everything reminds me of him so much. And... I really have to stop getting in the way of Ari and you." "You don't do that!", I protested but she shook her head, making me go silent even though I wanted to say more. "I do think it's better for the both of us, discussion over", she replied firmly. Then she looked at her watch and got up. "Also, I have to go. Have a nice day, Soobin. And... Good luck with Ari." She rushed away before I could protest. I sat on the bench, feeling numb. I had befriended her within a few days but just as fast I seemingly had lost her again. What in the world was wrong with me? I sighed and got up. All I wanted to do now is going back home.

•••••••

"Soobin, dear", Ari greeted me as I opened my door. I didn't even answer as she already continued: "I got your text. So, you finally made up your mind and agreed to our little deal! Good thing. However, I can't come tomorrow. Let's go out on Monday, shall we?" She smiled anticipating. I just shrugged. Whatever. Ari was the only one left in my life, so I had time whenever. It was that easy. "Perfect", she squealed and pecked my cheek. "And I won't forget about my part of the deal either", she whispered into my ear before winking at me and turning to leave. As long as it would rescue our relationship, that was all I asked for. I wanted to go back to our very beginnings were everything had felt like Kasumi had described it yesterday when talking about her relationship with Minhyuk. I still had hope for us getting there again. Sometimes it's about pushing through.