✦ - Genshin Impact • Oneshot [English] - ✦

✦ - «Oh gosh.. I'm so glad you're still here...» - ✦

A Xiao x Reader, in a modern AU, I hope you'll enjoy it!

Trigger Warning : Suicide, self harm and small abuse talking.
Please take care!

I'll also try another way to write my story!

               It has been a long day. You were helping people, like always. It's a habit by now. You smiled, but once you entered your house, you closed your eyes and stayed against the door. Lowering your head, you sighed and let yourself fall on the floor. Since when did you started to feel like this ? Even after leaving your old household, only toxic and putting you down, you couldn't help but feel bad.

               Maybe your traumas were bigger than what you wanted to believe. You put your head in your hands. As you started to cry, you thought about all those years. With your family. Even though it wasn't anything physical... All their words... It hurt badly, and still do. You bit your lips.

               You stood up, and went into your bathroom. What you saw in the mirror was making you cry. You were finding yourself ugly, and anyone can be prettier than you. It must be the reason why you're always the second choice. You took a deep breath, and tried to calm down.. But you couldn't. How would people react, seeing the person helping them struggling and not able to truly smile anymore ? They would probably hate it. 

               It's only after one hour you went out the bathroom. You did it again, and felt guilty. But you couldn't help it... You wanted badly to do it after all. You walked in the living room, and on the table was lying your note. You sat on the couch, trying to not cry once more. When you calmed down, you let it here, and went outside. In your garden.

               There was bunch of flowers you made grow yourself. It took you long enough, but it was pretty. You watered them one more time. As you prepared everything in the morning, you decided to do it. You looked the landscape, and closed your eyes again. It was a farewell.

               Surprisingly, you opened your eyes. You thought you would never open them again. You looked around to see some white walls, with some decorations on it. You were lying down on a bed. You could easily understand you were in a hospital room. But you wondered how was it even possible.

               Soon enough, someone knocked, before entering. It was a kind of small green haired boy. You felt slightly happy he was the one here. He was your confident, your best friend, and yet you didn't even knew how your bounds became so strong with him, but you cherished it. It was the only one you could talk to when you were feeling bad, so he knew about most of the stuff going on your mind. He came closer to the bed, and sighed in relief when he saw you awake.

- «You shouldn't scare me this way...»

               You didn't seemed mad to see him. More confused. Why was he here, and why did he saved you ? You didn't wanted to be saved. You sat in the bed, and looked at your arms. There was bandages on them, and you could guess your scars have been treated.

- «Xiao... Why did you saved me ?»

               He looked at you, in shock. Your question was definitely confusing him. It was pretty obvious, wasn't it ?

- «Do you really think I want you to die ?»

               Deep inside, it wasn't that surprising to hear that. But you sighed and your eyes became teary. To you, just knowing someone wanted you to be alive was heartwarming. You lowered your head, apologising, as he started talking.

- «No, don't apologise. In fact, I came at your house to ask you something. I knew you would be here, since passangers told me you took the way home. But when I knocked, I heard nothing. I know you're struggling, and I had a bad feeling. So I let myself in and found this note. As I reed, I understood it was... Your suicide note... I checked every room, before seeing you hanged. I ran as fast as I could to take you down. Doctors told me it was at the line. If I would've been here just few minutes later.. You would...»

               This cold heart broke in tears, and took your hand to hold it tightly. You could feel all his worries, and you felt guilty. It was your fault. But you see it as the only escape. You put your other hand on his hair, and stroke it. You closed your eyes, and softly laughed.

- «... I'm sorry I made you worry that much...»

               He continued crying, and shook his head from left to right, saying it's not your fault. He let out a sigh. He was definitely relieved.

- «Oh gosh.. I'm so glad you're still here... When I saw you, I thought you were dead! I was so scared to lose you...»

                You never thought you were that important to him, and he was crying like a crybaby right now. But you found it cute. He went into a hug. You could feel his tears fell on your shoulder.

- «[Y/N]... I love you, I don't want you to be in pain, and I would do anything for you.»

                These words warmed your heart, and you hugged him back. After few minutes like that, he stepped back and looked at the floor.

- «...Xiao ? Why did you went to my house in the first place ?»

- «...To make sure you were okay. And since Lantern Rite is soon and I went to it last year with the traveler and Paimon... I wanted to... To ask you on a date to it...»

               You could see him blush, and nodded. Of course you'd like to go with him. You loved him as well.

- «I'd be glad to come with you.»

               You started talking about few stuffs, and you promised him you would try to take care a bit more of yourself. And if any of those thoughts happen again... You would go talk to him.

I hope you haven't read if any of these triggers was one of you!

I'm sorry I didn't posted that much, lots are happening right now, and I have some family issues currently

But writing is helping me cope with some stuffs, it's kind of a therapy when I write so I'm always glad to!

Take care!

(Art by _Lounette_ on twitter!)

- [ • Lysandre / Lucien • ]