✦ - Genshin Impact • Oneshot [English] - ✦

✦ - «You can tell me everything. We're friends.» - ✦

Here is a Chongyun x reader. I'm really sorry I didn't posted in a while, I'll explain it more at the end of this oneshot. Also, it's in a modern AU

Trigger warning - Depression, anxiety, suicidal and self harming topic.

It's been hard recently. Feeling this way is not fun. I thought I would never be concerned by that, but I was wrong.

I couldn't go to school anymore. Anxiety was taking over me. Today again was a day I skipped without my parents' permission. Mom was at work, and dad didn't really cared. He gave up on me going to school or not. I was feeling bad. I did my best to go, but when I had to go out, I panicked. I took a shower, dressed up, made my bag, and brushed my hair. But once I had to leave, I got paralyzed. I couldn't help but hate myself to not be able to do that. It seemed like an easy task.

I cleaned my bedroom and my desk, to not feel like I was doing nothing. But it was too late. My mind was screaming me so many things. I had no motivation anymore. I didn't even wanted to eat sometimes. I had no pleasure anymore. I put my headphones and listened to music. It wasn't making me happy, but it wasn't making it worst.

My only friends were online. So most of them were at school. I sighed as I walked out of my bedroom to grab a bit more tissues. I wasn't crying, but in case I would.. I preferred that, than letting anyone see me cry. In fact, I was feeling empty. And it was an awful feeling.

All I did today was listening to music, and when my mom got home, she scolded me. I couldn't even be able to say anything, I just wanted to disappear. I hated myself, and that's all. It was just comforting me on that.

It has been a year now. I was occasionally going at school. I had no friend there anymore. They all backstabbed me. After all, I was coming "only when I wanted". I wish I could, because I really wanted to go instead of wasting my year. 

Though, I found the courage to ask my parents to see a therapist. It seemed stupid, but after months hearing my friends telling me I should, I understood they were right. I started to think I had to suffer to feel alive. It was only when I was accidentaly hitting something, or burning my finger when I was cooking, that I was feeling alive. I even thought of ending my life.

I was once a cheerful and energetic teen, and I'm now the opposite. Sad, with low self confidence, and no motivation. I was finding myself lazy. I had no reason to get out of my bed in general. Just going to get food was hard.

It's been two months I'm weekly seeing my therapist. And today, I went in the town next to mine with my bike. It was where my both closest friends were living. But only one was available today. I didn't minded. I just needed to talk to someone.

I came in this town as fast as possible. It wasn't the first time we were hanging out, it could only be on weekend before. I search for air after all this road, and let my bike in an alley. I ran to a house, knocking at the door. After few minutes, the door opened to me. I saw my dear friend.