(A/N) Y'know, making this fanfic (along with when i was making ddll) has made me realize how easily i am distracted, and how much i immediately lose focus in something so i start pacing around my house to think. I've kinda recently got the thought that I might have some small case of adhd or something along those lines, but i am only mildly annoyed by it since it only happens when im at home or theres nothing too important for me to focus on. So yeah, just needed to say that somewhere.
Monika POV
I'm starting to feel burned out. The Literature Club is fine. Since it's something I'm running, I'm able to monitor how much that makes me do. However, my mom has forced me to do athletics, the most complicated variant of any necessary class, and now a job on the weekends? It's too much!
In fact, it's actually gotten me so fed up, I had my first shouting match with her. And she has the gall to say that I'm the one overreacting? Well, sorry, that I can't be a panacea to all problems, a perfect straight ace student that does everything I'm told! She even dared to insult my friends for their "apathy". Not being perfect is far from apathetic! Worst part is, it was completely obvious that she was targeting Sayori. She's not lazy! Sure, she's clumsy, and sure, she can be a little naive, but she puts more passion into anything she does than I've ever seen out of anyone else.
I'm currently in my room, merely thrashing around in anger. The worst part about this is how there is a slight voice in the back of my head that says this is my fault. That if I just did as I was told, I wouldn't be having this immature tantrum. Is it normal to disagree with yourself? Because that part of me is complete bullshit! Ugh, what am I doing? Swearing?
An alarm blades from my phone. Apparently I had a study session scheduled at this moment. But honestly? Who cares! I take my phone, clear my alarms and leave. I slam my room door shut.
"Monika! Don't close doors so loudly!" I heard my mom shout from her room. Normally, I'd apologize, but no. Not this time. I continue downstairs. I look over to my father when I reach the door. He looks at me with a slight understanding. I wonder, why does he understand me, but not my mother? I shake my head, and leave my house.
As I walked down, that small part of my mind grew louder. Maybe I was being immature. Maybe I should have just not questioned, did what I was told, then I wouldn't be so upset. I started to run, just to try and make the voice stop. I know I'm in the right, damnit! Get out of this swearing habit!
When I finally stop running, I looked up. Sayori's house. Guess I'm not surprised. I've come here many times, so it's not shocking that my mind is wired to say this is a place of comfort. I take some breaths to compose myself, and go over to knock on the door. When I do, Sayori quickly opens the door.
"Monika?"
"Yes, hey. Do you think I can come in?" Sayori looks at me curiously, but steps aside. When I walk in, Sayori follows behind.
"So, um, why did you come here, anyway?"
"I just needed to get away from my house for a bit."
"... do you wanna talk about it?" Sayori and I stop walking. I'm not entirely sure if Sayori can help with my parental issue, but I suppose a shoulder to lean on is something that can help anyone, even me. I slowly nod, and Sayori takes me by the hand into her room. We both take a seat on the side of the bed.
"So, what's on your mind?" She looks at my face intently.
"It's just... ugh, it's my mom, I guess. Or it's about me, I can't say. I'm feeling completely overwhelmed with how much stuff she makes me do, and today, I got into a fight with her. On one hand, I think I'm not at all wrong, as she's the one who makes me do all the complex things, while on the other, I feel like I'm just being immature." I say. Sayori rubs my shoulder, and answers.
"I'm sorry that I can't honestly say I know your pain, but I do think you are probably correct. I know how important a break can be, some time where you can be without stressors, without things to make you worry about what you gotta do. But, if I may ask, did you argue about anything else?"
"Yes. She...um... She insulted my friends. Not just that, she didn't just insult the vague group, I could tell she was targeting you. Calling you dumb, acting like you do nothing... It makes me really mad that someone could think of you that way."
Sayori looks away. "Thank you for standing up for me Monika. I don't know what I could have done to imply to your mom that I'm lazy. But... I'm sorry for making you have to get upset over me." Sayori spoke in a more sad tone. I sighed, and quickly wrapped her into a hug.
"We probably both need one of these... Sayo, I really don't understand how you can think I'd ever see you as a nuisance. If I ever implied that to you, then I'm really sorry that I ever came off that way."
"Oh, I know, Moni, but still, I just feel like maybe you wouldn't have fought if I wasn't there to... make your mom mad, I guess." She sighs. I scratch her back, and shake my head.
"Sayo, even in some bleaker world where I never met you, she would probably be on my case for something else. Maybe she'd compare me to how successful Yuri's family is, or something. Either way, she'd still be angry at me, so actually, you being around for me to seek comfort in actually helps more than you could ever hurt." I assure her. Sayori just holds on, only adding "Is that so?"
Eventually, I did detach from Sayori. "I think I'm done now. Thank you for letting me in, Sayo "
"No problem, Moni! You're always welcome here!" She says, waving me off. I wave back, but grip at the door frame.
"Um, Sayo?"
"Yeah?"
"You aren't... busy tomorrow, are you?" I feel my hands shake.
"... I don't think so? Why?"
"Well, I kinda have something to show you. When club time is over, I... I need you to follow me." If she could see my face, she'd probably be concerned with how red and sweaty I was.
"Okay? I guess I can."
"Thank you." I finish, and finally leave. I feel my body tremble slightly, though I don't know if it's of fear or of excitement. Either way, I know there's no going back. I'm getting this off of my chest. Tomorrow's going to be a day of sheer anguish, or sheer bliss.
(A/N) and its here that i realized im going to have to make a song for sayori in the perspective of this monika. this is going to be harder than poem writing, so you can use that as a guess to if there's gonna be a big delay. see you next time, whenever that is!
YOU ARE READING
Doki Doki!
РомантикаI am doing a second attempt at this DDLC fanfic. Don't read the first one I did, as it's not necessary to know anything from that one. The name might be changed and the cover art will likely be updated at some point. (it wasnt.)
