my drug (oitnb//nicky nichols)

chapter 23

i had only been back for a few hours. "i've gotta go to the bathroom. i'll be back in a minute." i scratched the back of my head and i look at nicky before walking out of the cube that alex and nicky were sitting in.

"i'm happy she's back. thank you for giving me hope." nicky said

"i may have had a hand in bringing her back." alex laughed a little

"oh you are the best sister, alex."

nicky and alex were laughing and talking, piper and red walked into the dorms and walked into the cube with nichols and vause.

"what's so funny?" red asked

"nicky's girlfriend is back!" alex smiled

"ivy is back?!" red and piper both were surprised

"she's back. for good...unless she takes the blame for someone elses shiv." nicky said

red hugged nicky tightly "i'm so happy for you."

"where is she?" piper asked

"bathroom." nicky responded, hugging red back

————-

i locked myself in the bathroom stall and i swallowed a few pills, daddy's departure gift. i put the rest of the baggie into my bra and i walked out of the stall, i turned on the sink and cupped some water in my hand, pouring it into my mouth and swallowing it, it helped the pills slide down my throat easier.

i dried my hands and fixed my hair, i lightly touched my black eye "fuck." i winced, it hurt a lot but the oxy helped with the pain.

i lifted my sleeve, my arm had a large bruise from wear hellman grabbed me while dragging me to the van.

i looked around the bathroom through the mirror,  boo was looking at me

"shit your back! missed you kid." she said, walking over to me

"missed your smart mouth, boo." i replied

"what happened?"

"uh...just stay out of maximum. that's my advice for you." i wiped my mouth and i left the bathroom.

i fiddled with my fingers as i walked down the hallway, i was nervous to be back. i had taken multiple beatings, i had bruises along my ribs and my upper arms and other places. i walked back into the dorms, seeing red and piper had joined alex and nicky in the cube. i was nervous, i stopped myself and i walked out before they saw me.

i walked outside into the yard and sat against the wall of the prison beside the door on the outside. i missed the fresh air. i leaned against the wall and i closed my eyes.

—————-

"she's been gone for 20 minutes." nicky said, getting worried.

"i'll help you look for her." alex said

"uh..no it's fine. i got it." nicky said, she left the cube and started asking around for me

"hey, have you seen carter?" nicky asked boo

"she just left the bathroom, i think she went out to the yard." boo replied

nicky nodded and she opened the door to go outside, i was sat beside it. i looked up at her

she sat next to me "what's going on?" she asked

"i'm not ready to talk to them yet... to red." i replied

"okay." she held my hand with both of hers. "i love you."

i looked at her, smiling a bit "i love you to nicky."

"you doin' okay? you seem off.."

"of course, i'm okay. i'm home. everything is okay. i met your friend daddy."

"oh yeah, daddy. she offer you anything?"

"no. of course not. she knows i'm clean, she helped."

"good."

i nod. "she says hi. she misses you."

——————

i had been back for a few days. i was starting to get used to being home. it was still weird.

"eat." nicky stearnly said

it was breakfast. the family and i were all sat at a table. i picked at my food with a fork, it looked unappealing. i pushed my tray away from me.

"eat. ivy." nicky repeated herself.

i ignored her and i looked at alex and piper, they were being cute and happy. i looked beside me at nicky. "i'm not feeling well,  i'll find you later" i cleaned my tray and i left the cafeteria.

i went to my cube and swallowed another few pills. i layed back in my bed and i stared up at the ceiling, fiddling with my fingers.

——————

breakfast was over, i had fallen asleep in my cube. nicky came to find me, she sat at the end of my bed, i wrote letters to her all of the time in max, i never sent them but i kept them in an envelope, they were on the top of my cabinet.

nicky saw the envelope and sat at the end of the bed and she went through them, smiling as she read them.

i heard the crinkling paper and i woke up, i looked down at my feet and saw nicky with the envelope, i jumped up and i grabbed the papers from her

"your not supposed to read those" i told her

"i was curious." she replied, leaning in and kissing me

"so, who was here to keep your bed warm while i was gone?" i joked around

"my soul." she laughed and kissed me again "i'm glad your okay, your back."

"me too my love."