In Love With the Alpha Vampire Ed Sheeran

spin the bottle

You, your beloved amazing goregours sexy epic alpha ed sharen, somic the hedghog, obama, braney the dinosaur, a roblox noob, firey and a literal tube of chapstick walk into a room that you thought would be good. But when you walk inside theres already people! You notice that most of them are vocaloids, and hatsune miku is there whos glaring at ed shartran with dried blood under her nose, but ed sheerans glaring at someone else. Amidst all the singing softwares is none other than shrek.

"You." Ed growls. Shrek looks it eds direction and galres back. The tension is so thick its thiccer than ur mom. 

"Uh... eddy?" You ask putting your hand on his shoulder. He stares into your orbs. He lowers his voice. "He once got mad at me for "being in his swamp" when i wasnt even in his swamp! And everyone seems to love him, especially his singing, instead of mine, even though hes a frickin OGRE!" You can see the anger in eds orbs 

"Hey gusy we were gonn a play spin the bottle." Firey says to the people already in the room. "Lets just leave, these people are already here." Responds barney. "No its fine we can join you!" Kagamine rin says cheerfully. 

"I DO NOT WANT SOMEONE AS PUTRID AS HIM TO STAY IN THIS ROOM!" Bellows shrek pointeng at ed shittyn.

 "THAT MOTHERFUCKER PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!" screamed miku. 

"If you guys dont like him, then leave. I wanna play spin the bottle with them." Says rin. The other vocaloids agree. Len also agrees before spontaneously exploding. "Haha sorry about that he has a habit of dying randomly cus hes quirky!" Rin says as firey, somic, obama, barney and the noib stare in shock at where len was. 

"How do you get him back...?" The noob asks. "Idk he just shows up again a random amount of time later." Rin shrugs as she says this. 

"Wait guys! Some of My object friends die a lot and we have recovery machines, i bet i can use one of them to recover len!" Exclaims firey. "Where is this recovery machine?" Asks barney. "Idk its far away though" firey responds. "Im super fast i can take you there!" Sonic says. Firey nods yes.

Sonic grabs firey by the leg and zooms off at the speed of light. A few seconds back sonic returns holding both len and firey. Everyone cheers except for miku and shrek who are both very upset at the presence of ed sheerrman. 

"Ok lets play spin the bottle!" Cheerfully shouts firey and he puts down a ed sheeran monster can in the middle of the room. Everyone sits in a circle around it. Rin spins the can. Everyone watches with anticipation watching it twirl. The can slows down until it lands on...

"Y/N AND LEN???" SOMEONE EXCLAIMS

you and len lean foraard in the middle of the circle and veyr awkwardly kiss. You immediately pull away afterwards. It feels wrong to kis someone other than ed daddy especially in front of him.

"I-im sorry ed i had to..." you whimper as you sit back down beside him. Ed doesnt seem too bothered though. Hes busy being angry at shrek. 

Rin spjns the can again. You watch as it lands on... sonic and obama. They look each other in the orbs and share a oassionate kiss. You blush watching it and are reminded of making out with ed shbrhejbwn. You only blush more the longer sonic and obama kiss. 20 seconds later they pull away. Theyre blushing a lot and theres a lot of saliva. Obama leans in sonics ear and whispers  something. Sonic nods then says "obama and i are gonna, go somewhere else." They walk out of the room oldiing hands. 

"Ooo..." rin has a mischevious look on her face, before spinning the ed sheeran can again. It slows down and the two people it chose are...

"Youve got to be kidding me." Ed sheeran grumbles as he realizes that hes sitting directly across from shrek, and that the can landed on them. He angrily crawls towards shrek and leans in for a kiss... when suddenly he bites shreks neck! Shrek screams a glottal ogre scream and rips ed off of him, throwing him across the room. Ed crashes into the wall, leaving a dent as he falls to the ground. He starts floating them zooms across the room and sucker punches shrek in the crotch! He uppercuts shrek then throws him at the ceiling. Shrek hits the ground and ed shermo tries to punch him again but shrek grabs his fist and attempts to break his arm!

"Hey! Hey! Break it up-" rin tries to stop them but gets accidentally punched in the face. Megurine luka manages to grab shrek from behind, and tries to pull him away but shrek and ed sharty are still throwing hands. 

"Oh my god guys this fighting is pointless..." barny groans. The noob throws the chapstick at ed shears and misses. Miku suddenly jumps in to land a punch on ed sharien, right in the nose. His nose starts bleeding and miku uppercuts him, except shrek tried to do the same thing at the same time but accidentally hit miku. She s flung up and crashes through the ceiling andnow half her body is stuck in one of teh ceiling tiles.

Firey runs between shrek and ed sheeren an d cries "STOP FIGHTING I AM A LITERAL FIRE YOU WILL GET BURNT IF YOU KEEP FIGHTING!" both parties instinctively stop. Ed accidentally lights his pants on fire and rin pours a can of ed sheern monster on him to put it out.

The ogre and ginger male are both panting and covered in bruises. Shrek grumbles and goes to sit back down. Ed does the same. 

"I think we should stop playing." Luka suggests, exhausted from trying to hold back a frickin ogre. "Yes i ag-" before rin could finish her sentence miku falls from the ceiling and lands on top of len, crushing him. Firey gasps. Miku gets up and worridly checks lens pulse. Sure enough hes dead. 

"Ill go get sonic." Firey sighs. Everyone is worn out at this point. Firey walks around the bare halls with carpeted flooring. He calls out "sonic! Sonic! Where are you?" He checks every room he finds, but most of them are full of random equipment or the occasional group that isnt sonic and obama. He walks into one room where people in robs obscuring their faces chant in a circle. They tun and look at him.

"Whoops sorry wrong room guys." Firey turns around and closes the door. Hes just gonna pretend he didnt see that.

Eventually firey hears moaning coming from one room. He goes up and knocks on the door. "SONIC! LEN DIED AGAIN!" the moaning doesnt stop. Maybe they didnt hear him. "SONIC!!" firey bangs on the door hoping sonic hears him. He doesnt hear him. Firey has no other choise  than to open the door. He immediately regrets it as he covers his eyes. Sonic and obama awkwardly stare at him, frozen in place.

"EY WTF GET OUT!" SOnic shouts embarresdly. 

"LEN IS DEAD I NEED YOU TO HELP ME RECOVER HIM!" Firey says. 

"Ok fine." Sonic gets up, grabs fireys leg and runs off at super dper sonic speed. 

Rin and all the other vocaloids cheer when sonic retruns with firey and len. 

"Hey weres everyone else?" Sonic asks. 

"They went home. A fight broke out and no one wanted to play anymore." Sighed rin. "Anyways thanks for recovering len for me."

"No problem." Sonic says, setting down len before running off to rejoin obama. Firey doesnt wanna leave yet so he just hangs out with the vocaloids.

"You okay y/n?" Ed shartie asks affectionaly as you walk with him through the halls, making your way to an exit. 

"Why are you asking me? Youre the one with a black eye, a bloody nose and too many bruises to count!" You retort. 

"Well i dont want you getting hurt, y/n." Ed plants a kiss on your cheek after he says this. You sigh as they two of you wander the halls in silence, holding hands affectionatly. 

Just then, ed is suddenly pulled from your grasp. You whip your head around in time to see a tentacle wrapped around his waist pulling hom towards a vent with... red???