I don't know if it happened in my dream or in reality but in that half-asleep state, I hear the woman beside me whisper, "I'm in love with you, Leni."
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I heard it.
Hindi ko alam kung sa panaginip o sa totoong buhay pero narinig ko. And I can't calm down kasi there's that heavy feeling in my chest and my mind was spinning.
I fell asleep right after I heard what she said.
Nagising ako when we were already near her house. I apologized, panicking just a little bit kasi baka galit siya na nakatulog ako.
"Okay lang, you were tired kaya I understand naman."
I unclasped my fingers from hers and before I miss that feeling again, I hugged her waist, my head still laying on her shoulder.
Ibigay niyo na sa'kin 'tong gabing 'to. In 3 days, hindi ko na alam kung pwede ko pa 'tong gawin so let me have tonight.
"I'm grateful for you, Ris." I whispered.
She put her arm around me and started stroking my hair, "I'm grateful for you, too. More than you'll ever know."
I guess we'll always be saying things to each other that's more than the other person will ever know. Sana lang hindi umabot sa point na the words left unsaid now will remain unsaid after I confess to her kasi I won't be able to take it.
"Weird ba kapag sinabi ko sa'yong my world's brighter with you around?" I asked and realized only after the words left my mouth na halos parehas na 'yun sa note ko for her. Shit, I hope she doesn't realize it yet.
"No, not at all." She assured and laid her head on top of mine again, bringing me close to her.
Dito ka na lang habangbuhay, I thought.
Nagpaalam na kami sa isa't isa as we arrived at her house. It was only then that I remembered her words.
"I'm in love with you, Leni." And I felt my heart fall only for it to pound harder than it did kanina. Real or not real? I shook my head and reminded myself na 'wag muna umasa dahil mahirap masaktan.
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2
I was in a meeting with a few senators today including Risa. Kanina ko pa siya tinitignan from afar. I was at the head of the table and she was at the side, many seats away from me pero okay lang kasi I can see her clearly.
Nilabas ko 'yung phone ko and texted her, "Let's get coffee after this."
Napapansin ko, parang palakas na nang palakas 'yung loob ko. I don't know if it had something to do with what I heard her say last night whether it's real or not, or maybe it's the realization that I'm gaining the courage slowly but surely na umamin sa kanya.
I immediately followed my earlier text to clarify na kung gusto niya lang. Baka mamaya she has plans pala. Tinignan ko siya after I sent it and saw her smiling widely, holding her phone from underneath the table. Saka ko lang naalala na bawal nga pala mag-phone dito.
"Mamaya ka na kiligin, replyan mo muna ako," I sent. Confident much na talaga.
"Ito na nga po. Tara, let's get coffee later :)" She replied.
I cheered in my head and bit my lip while smiling. Pinatay ko na 'yung phone ko tapos tinignan siya then winked. She was trying so hard not to smile but there was a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks. Ito na pala ang effect ko sa kanya.
