Our future signed in letter

Chapter 14

A little later on the same day:

 

She stays with him for about half an hour and then slowly has to pull herself up. The infusion has gone through his vein and she pulls the needle again.
"Come on‘ it's time for your exercises and you haven't washed either, "she says gently to him and he helps out as best he can. The pain in his sick leg puts a lot of strain on him, but what choice does he have? Finally she sits on the edge of the bed to rub him in again and she gets up with him once, so that his circulation does not come to a standstill, and lets him pee in the urinal.
When she is done with everything, he clings to her and he feels that security again that he lost many, many years ago. Again and again she has to explain to him that she won‘t be away for a long time, because he cannot understand it in his fever phase .
When she has put him back in bed, there is a knock on the door below. It is Onyankopon.
“Don't come in here, Onyankopon! Have Gabi and Falco already informed you ? ", she asks him behind the closed door.
“ They have warned me, Mikasa ! I hope you both survive, ”he says worriedly.
"We'll manage somehow ...", she tries to speak up courage.
“ The reason I'm here Mikasa. I need to inform you that Paradis has occupied Marley to force Marley to hand over Piek and Rainer. Falco and Gabi do not feel able to do that here today. In addition, the government has issued a ban on large gatherings in the next few weeks, many people are infected with the virus. It's sad, but safety first, so Gabi and Falco have to cancel the wedding for the time being. I'm bringing you dinner tonight. Do you need anything else?"

Mikasa is appalled by the news about Paradis and Marley and can imagine how the younger two are feeling.
She thinks of Eren. Why Eren? Why did you do that? Didn't you see the consequences? Or was that part of your plan?
Thoughts that will go nowhere.

The fact that their wedding had to be canceled will also drag the two younger ones down.

“Tell them that my thoughts are with them and, of course, with Piek and Rainer. And can you do me a favor? Can you buy us bread from the bakery? I gave Gabi and Falco the money yesterday, ”she asks Onyankopon.
“I'll do that, Mikasa. I'll be back with dinner tonight, ”he says goodbye.

Finally she makes tea for herself and Levi and then goes upstairs with it. He looks at her again out of tired, feverish eyes, it seems as if he is far away.
She sits down next to him on the bed. Immediately he hugs her warmly, "You're back ..." he croaks hoarsely and she feels wetness on her neck.
She sees that he is crying and she wipes his tears away, he feels very warm.
"I was just downstairs and made tea for us and Onyankopon was there for a moment," she replies.
He looks at her as if he doesn't know Onyankopon. It runs cold down her spine and remembers what Doctor Meyer said to her about feverish dreams.

“Come‘ have a drink! I'll give you water first and then your tea to drink ”, she sits down with him on the edge of the bed. He gratefully drinks tea and water. He leans his head on her shoulder. His body is radiating heat and she feels that his fever is rising again. She puts him back in bed.
“Levi, I have to go downstairs to the bathroom and get some fresh water. I have to give you cooling compresses. Do you understand me? “, She looks him in his face.
From his reaction, she recognizes that what has been said does not reach him. " No, not! ‘Please don't leave me…” and he cries.
Mikasa is tearing up to see him so vulnerable, but he needs the cooling poultices now and makes up his mind to hurry to be with him again.

When she arrives at the bottom of the bathroom, she collapses crying. She has never seen him so desperately and she feels that he is not in her reality but far away. Please do not! is the only thing she can think of now. Her wish is to spend more time with him. Everything should get better here.
She thinks of Armin. Please don't let him to leave me now. You told me, that I should be happy here ...
She then comes back upstairs with the bowl of lukewarm water and prepares the envelopes. 5 in number: 4 for the extremities, 1 for the forehead. Fortunately, he fell asleep deeply.
She squeezes his hand. "Whoever left you, had been with you in her thoughts until the end and must have loved you very much," she holds her hand in front of her chest and wants to tell him, but the words just don't come out of her lips. She feels , that he feels exactly the same way and believes that he also has told her on their night together, when they made love uncontrollably.
She is so frustrated with her own inability to tell him. Because in this situation he should have heard from her at least once and she would like to tell him about the little girl who visits her in her dreams.
Instead she says to him: “And I promise you that I will stay with you. Please promise me that you will get well again ... ", she wipes away her tears and she watches his breathing, how his chest moves calmly up and down.