Our future signed in letter

Chapter 5

Marley, 6 years ago:
With a smile, she cut his neck and parted his head from the rest of his titan body. Empty eyes looked at her. "See you later, Eren!" And she kissed cold, chapped lips again goodbye. She stood in front of Armin, covered in blood, and she let Armin say goodbye to Eren . Armin wept the tears for her that she was now unable to cry herself. "I have to give him a funeral at Paradis," she said coldly and monotonously to Armin. Armin nodded understandingly . He knew that she had to suffer the most of all, because Eren could not be saved. Armin was able to understand her, what it looked like inside her and so they parted ways.
Then she remembered Levi's words about asking her to stay with her. "Mikasa, stay with me here!!!" On Falco's Titan, before Eren had thrown everyone into chaos. She threw him one last farewell look and it ruined her to see him crying like that. He also had lost loved ones, every old member of the Survey Corps and now she was leaving him too, but she couldn't help it. She hoped that they would meet again sometime when she was healed of her grief and she hoped that she did not regret this decision ... Please forgive me ...! and she disappeared in the mist and cut off all ends to herself. She just wanted to disappear into the fog of oblivion.

She wakes up exhausted, her sleep has not been restful. She can still clearly feel the wet tears on her skin. It would be too good to be true that after 2 dreamless nights she could now sleep restfully forever. Her bed neighbor gently wipes the tears from her face. She looks into Levi's tired eyes.
“What happened, brat? Dreamed badly? “, He asks in his deep voice. “Can you see it at me?” She says, exhausted. Judging by Levi's gaze, there is no longer any need for comment. “You look worse than me. And I'm the one of us with sleep disorders, ”he says, worried about her.

Mikasa remembers the dream she has to live through again and again and the dream is the reason for her fear of falling asleep, "I dreamed of you and Eren and everyone else before I decided to end his madness ... Levi say ' Am I a bad person?" Tears of anger and even hatred well up. He caresses her cheek tenderly, "Don't say shit! You're the one who saved our asses, without you we'd rotten in our graves . ”Levi's loving gesture of support lets her calm down a bit. Mikasa explains herself and feelings that she has been carrying around with her for 6 years come to the fore, “But it's me anyway…. I let you and everyone else in the lurch, even though you asked me to stay with you ... "Levi's cheeks are red," So you heard my request after all? "His eyes have that emotional glow again, which is often the only thing was a sign of his sadness and unrest in himself.

“I just couldn't have done it, if I had stayed with you, I wouldn't have been able to bury him. At the same time I left you and Armin in the lurch, even though you were so injured yourself and could have died… ”, her thoughts have finally been expressed and she doesn't believe that he would still like her with him. But he's doing something she doesn't expect. He holds the back of her head firmly in his grip and brings his forehead towards hers. She feels his breath warm on her skin and goose bumps build up all over her body, "calm down, Mikasa", he speaks gently to her. "In the end you came back and you are the one who saved me 3 years ago."

She moves away from him, surprised she looks at him, “what? How? ”Mikasa cannot imagine having done anything good for him. He continues: “Your letters… 3 years ago I was in a deep shit hole. I missed you so much and grieved for people who meant so much to me and I still do. I just couldn't anymore, I just didn't want to live anymore. Do you understand? You saved me ... "Mikasa swallows hard, would like to say the right thing, but both are disturbed in this intimate moment of togetherness ...

The doorbell sounds audibly below, “we can talk about it tonight. We have to go down to the shop, this time please let me go down the stairs alone! ", He says nervously to her," in the worst case it's the two brats and I don't want to have to listen to Gabi's chatter all day, "Mikasa nods understandingly . Levi slowly gets on unsteady legs, worried she looks after him. He tries hard to hold on to everywhere and she carefully runs after him. He calls down: "Who's there?"