Our future signed in letter

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Somewhere far away, in a quiet place:
A young woman with black hair cut into a short bob is dozing on a wooden bench. Around her neck she wears her old, red scarf that she received from her childhood friend. A lukewarm breeze surrounds her on this warm late summer day in the mountains. In front of her is a harmonious landscape in the middle of untouched nature. A lake, a forest and a wide meadow stretch out in front of her. No people . She is only here with him, with whom she has spent so many years. She remembers joining the Survey Corp with her two friends, he was there too. Eren's rescue from the female titan, with whom she would never have made it without his help and probably would have lost Eren even then. But why are these thoughts coming up in her right now? She feels the comforting warmth of a hand resting on her shoulder. She slowly opens her eyes.
"Eren!" She says tiredly and rubs her eyes. A young man looks at her with emerald-green eyes that are so familiar to her and yet have appeared different for some time. The bright color has remained the same, but his facial features. Dark eye sockets frame these, as if he has not been able to sleep for a long time. They carry a deep grief that she didn't know from Eren. He's also been wearing his hazel brown hair for some time with an undercut that she didn't recognize from him. He hands her a mug of tea that exudes a sweet scent of orange, rose hips and rose petals. She sips at it and breathes the scent. Strange when does Eren know about tea? She thinks. At the thought of the otherwise bitter drink she thinks of another person with whom she has built a close bond over the years of working and always kept a watchful eye on her and Eren.
"Where are Armin and the others?", Mikasa looks around searchingly.
The young man looks at her intently, almost as if he is staring at her, " Don't you remember Mikasa? We both left everything behind when you told me your honest words in Liberio. You advised me that we should flee and that you wish that I should live my last years in peace. "
He continues, "I couldn't bring myself to start a genocide and had to sacrifice Historia as an incubator and feel as if I had betrayed her." At the name of the young queen, his eyes change to the one she was familiar with. Carla's eyes look at her after so many years, his look is sad. "Mikasa, I feel guilty to left behind her such a fate ... And Armin and the captain are probably looking for us", her young friend begins to cry. A nagging feeling of jealousy flows through her. Why does he have to start about Historia when they are both alone here in nature. Actually, his thoughts should only apply to her, that doesn't feel right.
In the distance she hears a desperate "Mikasa, stay with me!" She looks at Eren doubtfully, his titan markings are clearly visible, "Did you say something, Eren?"
"You think about him all the time", he looks at her knowingly, "and you realized that you have to let me go. Mikasa, please throw away the scarf and please forget about me!"
Then she remembers kissing Eren's cold lips covered in blood. Her first kiss. A morbid kiss ...

On Paradis ( Summer 1920 ):
A gentle breeze blows through the window, the curtains sway with every draft. Birds sing their songs outside, an idyllic calm, accompanied by the songs of nature. The sun is in the east and lets the first rays shine into the room of a small hut in which a young woman sleeps peacefully and alone. She was exhausted last night and fell asleep crying again. During the day she can distract herself from the pain and memories, what scares her are the lonely and cold nights.
Frightened and with a loud breath, Mikasa wakes up covered in sweat. The well-known throbbing behind her forehead is clearly noticeable and she touches her forehead. For 6 years she has had the same dream over and over again. Her alone with Eren somewhere far away in a place so peaceful and calm. Then this desperate plea to stay with her, another person who has become an important anchor in her life. It was his voice, that much is clear, and then again Eren's voice that asked her to forget him.
Forgot Eren? She couldn't, to reassure herself she grips her scarf, which has become holey over time. Tired, she sits up in her bed in her simply furnished, small house, which is divided into two rooms with a bathroom with an adjoining, spacious garden. Queen Historia and Diplomat Kijomi Azumabito had built this little cottage according to her wishes. It's not much, but it's enough for a simple woman like her. In her bedroom there is a wooden chest of drawers with a mirror. She looks into her reflection: the young, muscular soldier has become a grown, attractive woman. 25 springs has been counting since February 10th. It's summer time now.
Her black hair, which she wore short in the war against Eren, has now grown down to her lower back and she mostly wears it in a simple braid. On special days, mostly when she visits Erens stone, she sometimes wears it as a plait. She stares at herself with her silver-gray eyes, which, depending on the incidence of light, also had a purple sheen in them. The Asian features are still unmistakable on her, her porcelain-white skin still has the youthfulness, Armin says that she looks much younger for her age. Her rosy lips have grown fuller over time. The rest of her body has also changed, where once there were strong muscles ( she is still strong, stronger as the averrage Eldier) , feminine curves have formed. The perfect likeness of her mother.....
At 1.78 m she has even grown a bit and is bigger than the average in the female population. She is most uncomfortable with this body feature and wished she were a bit smaller and the size she could have been kept as a man. She towers over many men on Paradis. It reminds her of someone. Someone who looked at her admiringly and distorted at the same time. She can still feel these looks very clearly on her skin and get goose bumps at this memory. But that was years ago.
Not that she cares about herself and her appearance, as Jean did 3 years ago and she rejected him. How could she love Jean if she missed Eren so much.
Mikasa believes Piek wasn't upset about her disapproval of Jean. Armin mentioned that they both got married a year ago and live in Marley. Both should now have become parents with their first child.
She remembers the reunion of her former comrades 3 years ago and the disappointment that an important member was missing ... What if he had spoken to her instead of Jean? She shakes the thought away, depressed.
Mikasa, don't kid yourself. The way you treated him the last time. Without a word of goodbye, you left him and everyone else, with Eren's head in your arms. Goosebumps form on her forearms at the thought of what macabre sight she presented to everyone.
She stands up slowly and stretches her body to keep moving. It's time to start her morning routine. It's the same as every day. First she washes herself with cold water and soap, then she ties her hair in a plait and pulls her old white blouse with the old, worn, beige-colored skirt with a dusky pink jacket. It used to be her go-out clothes, now her everyday clothes. With her generous pension, she could afford new clothes that corresponded to current fashions. Historia and Kijomi even had a wardrobe made for special occasions. She didn't care, however. For whom and for what occasion in her life? Her only purpose in life is to mourn the old days, to visit a cold stone every day and to look after and cultivate her garden.
She sighs and pulls herself up. Today her second oldest friend Armin comes to visit with his 3 year old son Jonathan. At least for Armin she shouldn't look so tired and exhausted today. It is a welcome change for her, even if it is the only visit she receives regularly. She hears a knock on her front door, she looks at the clock: 9 o'clock.
Way too early. Armin is not expected before noon because he has a different rhythm of life with Annie and her firstborn. In addition, Annie is 7 months pregnant with their second child and needs a lot of help with their household. Everything has changed in the last few years. Just not her...
She goes to the door to see who it could be. It's one of Historia's messengers who brings her a small package every two months. She knows who the sender is, judging by the scent the package exudes. In return, she writes to the sender monthly about her condition, her everyday life. Sometimes about the change on Paradise, sometimes about the last survivors of the Survey Corps and about herself and her thoughts. At the memory of him, a small smile forms on her face.
With red cheeks and stuttering, the young man delivers the package to her, apparently he has been confusing for some time that this smile is not meant for him. She is lost in thoughts, because the scent remembers her of someone .
The young messenger nervously tugs at his hat and begins to speak, " Mmm ... Mmm ... Mmm ... Miss Mikasa i ... i ... I would like to invite you to the summer evening party this Saturday," stutters the messenger with a red head.
Mikasa is torn from her dreams of earlier times and looks up from the little card to the face of the young messenger with red hair and a beard, who is not yet a full-fledged beard. How old is he? 18, 19, maybe 20 springs? If any . Definitely not older. A child in her eyes.
" Sorry. I just got my long-awaited package from my fiancé and he will not be pleased that I received such an indecent offer. Please forgive. I wish you a nice day! ", She says coldly and slams the door in front of the messenger's nose. She quietly apologizes to her former captain that he is an excuse for her and that every foreign admirer is pretending to be her fiancé.
Of course, he wouldn't have such romantic feelings for her. She is not that naive to believe such a thing, but it is still a help for her to push away unwelcome admirers. Mikasa assumes that they only have contact with one another because they are the last of an old gender and do not want to lose sight of each other. 3 years ago she decided to establish contact with him by mail, after which he did not show up, and had hoped for no reaction from her captain. She had been so nervous and afraid of his answer back then, would he coldly reject her or at best just ignore her? However, Armin had strengthened her decision and helped her to overcome her fear. In the end, however, she was surprised and had received news from her captain immediately after two weeks. Since then, they have been writing to each other at regular intervals.
She smells the package and taps that there must be a new type of tea in it.
The only one who knows about her lies is her old friend Armin, whom she can confide in everything. She can understand Annie why she fell in love with him 6 years ago and started a family with Armin. Armin had always had this knowing, sensitive nature. In addition, he has become more and more attractive over the last few years if he had been her type.
But he is not. Over time, however, an intimate brother-sister relationship has developed with him, which she clearly prefers. She already hears Armin's scolding words and has to grin, for rejecting the next young man. But she's not interested in anyone since Eren died and who should be interested in her, if she ignore the strange young men. Mikasa had always had a problem with building new relationships and preferred her small circle of fellow human beings. She resigned herself to ending up as an old maid and made peace with those thoughts.
She opens the package, a sweet scent of orange, rose hip and rose petals flows towards her. In it is a briefly written letter in which it is written: "To the gloomy brat. I hope to give you other thoughts and try to smile every now and then like when we all were at the sea for the first time or shortly after Historia's coronation. All right?
Greetings L. Ackermann. "
For some time she has been amazed that he no longer says goodbye with his title, but with his name as normal. Her captain is not the kind of person who would allow anyone to speak to him by name and so she is not sure how to write to him in her next letter. Perhaps she should ask Armin for advice, he is always good at assessing things like that. But the thought evaporates again when she opens the package.
In the package there is a small box with a card. She opens the box, there are dried tea leaves with dried citrus fruits in them, which are usually very expensive on the market and are a small treasure. She looks at the card and giggles at what she has to read.
"You get really creative with age, Captain" and she goes to her kitchenette, lost in thought.