Baby Honey - H.S.

4

Rosie

Silence can be viewed in two ways.

You can either find it peaceful and comforting, like sitting in the garden, reading a book and enjoying the stillness around you. Our world is so busy and there's constant noise no matter where you go, especially in big cities like London. Sometimes you just wanna escape all of that noise and enjoy the silence nature offers.

Then there's the silence that makes you think. Sometimes you wish it wasn't so quiet because your thoughts are so loud. There's nothing that can tune them out and you're stuck in your own head. It's possibly one of the scariest things in life, being lost in your own head.

Isn't it funny how much control our brains have over us? Just that organ alone can make us feel like we're dying. It can also make us feel nothing at all.

When you go through so much emotional and physical pain you find yourself wishing for numbness. You don't want to hurt anymore.

But being numb doesn't just mean not feeling pain and sorrow. There's not a switch in our brain that can turn the bad emotions off and keep the good ones. When you're numb, you don't feel anything.

No happiness, no excitement, no gratitude, no love. You also don't feel the pain, the sadness, the grief, the anguish. You're just empty.

I've learnt my way around emotions early in life. I had a phase where I wanted nothing but for the pain to be gone and it was good for a while, not hurting. But then I realised that I was missing familiar feelings such as happiness. I didn't laugh or smile for a very long time. I couldn't. I felt like there was no positive thing in life. Even if something good happened I couldn't get myself to feel grateful.

I rather feel everything than nothing.

I don't let pain and sorrow consume me anymore. Life is too short for me to waste my emotions.

I want to feel. I want to live.

Waking up in the morning I did feel pain. Not emotional pain, but physical ache. In my lower region...

Squinting my eyes in the bright room I was met with the sight of the curly guy asleep only a few inches from my face. His heavy arm was draped over my waist while the other was under our heads, acting as some sort of pillow.

He was so warm, that I felt a bead of sweat form on the back of my neck.

Opening both eyes fully now that they've adjusted to the brightness of the room, I let my eyes travel over his body. His face looks puffy in the morning, his long lashes almost cover his under-eye area. His lips look smushed from the way his cheek presses against his arm. They look so kissable.

Letting my eyes roam lower, I notice the lack of clothing on his top half.

And then it hit me like a mad truck.

In a sudden motion, I yank up the duvet, peeking under it only to be greeted with the sight of my naked body. The next second I'm scooting further away from his hold, trying to get his arm off my naked waist and then... thud.

A sharp pain shoots through my elbows as I find myself tangled in the white duvet, on the bedroom floor.

"Picsába," I grumble, trying to free my hand from where it's held captive by the soft sheet monster and fail.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

My head shoots up and out from under the duvet to see a very sleepy looking Harry, leaning over the side of the bed, propped up on his side and staring down at me.