Baby Honey - H.S.

10

tw/ panic attacks - if you're not comfortable reading it please skip rosie's pov and read harry's

Rosie

Day 8
Things have been good for a while now. I've seen the beauty of Glasgow, St Abbs, Edinburgh and Manchester so far.
It's safe to say that anyone who knows me knows that I always loved travelling. I love going away from home and seeing new places so whoever thinks I came on tour to be with Harry isn't entirely right.
Sure it's a part of the reason why I'm here but the other reason why is because I want to see the world. Growing up in a small country, I never imagined that one day I'd see countries that are so far away from home. My old home at least.
I'm very blessed to be here, in Manchester right now, sitting in Anne's beautiful garden that reminds me so much of yours, Nonna. I wish I could take pictures and show them to you when I go home. But I'm not sure I'll ever see you again. I'm sorry. So sorry, you have no idea...

The ink of my pen pools around the tip on the paper as I press it down for too long, fighting the urge to cry.

Being around Harry's family has been so refreshing, but also very hard. It's challenging to sit here every day and watch them have what I don't. I'm envious, seeing the moments Harry shares with Anne, and when the three of them have simple moments that remind me of my past life. The one I left.

A wet droplet falls on the open journal in my hands, ruining the bottom of the page. It's followed by another one soon.

I look up at the sky, in search of the dark grey rain clouds but I don't see any. It's a clear day in April, the sun is beginning to set slowly.

I don't notice a teardrop roll down my cheek, but when I wipe my thumb under my eye I feel the moisture that's threatening to fall from my glassy eyes.

I blink once, twice, to try and get rid of the tears but it only brings more tears to my eyes. When I blink again, the tears that have been held back are set free, staining my cheeks on either side.

I'm crying and I can't stop.

It's not long after that my shoulders start to shake and my lips tremble as I struggle to breathe at a steady pace.

My chest hurts, it feels hollow and dark. It's like there's a dark hole that's been punctured in my chest. I can't breathe.

I feel the control I have over my body slip through my hands with each second passing. I'm hopeless, broken.

My trembling hands reach into my jeans pocket in a hurry, trying to find my phone but I can barely put my hand in my pocket from how bad I'm shaking.

"Honey, do you want some- Oh, my goodness, Rosie-" I hear the faint voice of Anne but it's very quiet and almost like it's only in my head. I can't see through the tears, I can't breathe, I can barely hear anything.

The only sense I'm left with is touch.

I feel a pair of warm hands take a hold of my arms and soon I'm wrapped in that warmth. My shivering body is now engulfed in this soft, warm blanket of comfort.

"It's okay. Breathe with me, darling. You're alright, it's gonna pass."

I can't make a sound, I can only screw my eyes shut tighter and focus on the breathing pattern of the body that holds me.

Trying and failing multiple times, I finally manage to get the control back over my body, while focusing on Anne's distant voice reassuring me continuously.