The World That Is My Mind

A Broken Girl

As the rain poured, she stood outside inhaling the intoxicating smell of the fresh water. The sounds of the small beads of water hitting different surfaces was entrancing to the young girl as she felt her mind finally ease and drift of to sleep, on the couch that resided on the front porch. The feeling of strong arms laced under her waist and upper body awoke the female for a second, before slowly drifting away again as she was enveloped by the feeling of warmth and as the sound of shuffling ceased. This girl was quite peculiar, she kept to herself most of the time, never uttered a word to anyone, not even the teachers, her grades weren't too good often raising and declining,never steady, always moving. She had friends, but she never saw them as such, they would abandon her and use her for the answers on a test even when she herself had no understanding of the topic, and though she helped, her mark was always lower. She starts the year great but then she slowly falters, for she has done all that she can this time around. Her head lays on the desk, no thoughts flowing through only empty and tired as she proceeds to close her heavy eyes, the teachers words no longer heard by the sleeping girl. The days pass as a blur as she repeats the same tasks; interests slipping as they no longer bring her joy only something she strives to become better at, for if she didn't it would be a waste, and her special talent would be nothing more than that of an average person if she never got better. Nothing fun, nothing entertaining, so she lays in bed draining the battery of her phone, waiting for the day to end, and when it finally does only then does she decide that there must be something she can do to bring little joy to her darkened world. For many the sun was something they enjoyed, the heat, the light, the little birds tweeting, and the spark of human life to top off the perfect weather, but for this peculiar girl, she adored the rain, the tapping of the rainfall as it hit the ground, the smell that lingered in the air, how ppl were to reside in their homes to escape the cold, and hudle in their blankets, but most of all she loved the rainy skies; how the dark clouds washed over and formed their beautiful patterns before finally settling in place, for it made her as if she wasn't the only one in such a dark place, put on the brink of tears. As the hot weather finally ceased, the girl found herself outside yet again awaiting the rain, her shoulders slouched, and head tilted to the sky. When the rain finally fell, she felt as ease, no longer was she worried about what the day might bring, nor was she consuming herself in the past, all thoughts of school left her mind, and stress no longer existed in her mind, as the feeling of being calm replaced the flooding emotions that caused her to feel so numb. As the sky shed its tears she felt that she could too, but the rain was no longer a remedy to the girl but now a reminder that there was nothing that could help her, all joy was lost in an instant and, with so many emotions rushing to the surface, the girl didn't know what to di and silenced them yet again, back to feeling paralysingly numb, stress washed over her and her head hung low. Nothing could fix her, if she truly wanted out, she'd have to speak, and ask for help, drop her mask and let it crack before it can finally break, but she couldn't do it, she didn't want to be a burden nor did she want to hurt others with her pain so instead, she sat in the rain, wide awake, no feeling of ease instead she waited, and waited for the rain to cease, but it never did. She fell in love with the rain instead of the sun, this was her doing, it was her curse, she chose the rain...and now she hopes for the sun to return, but there's no sign of the clouds ever opening instead they grow darker, even in her home there is no escape as water leaks though and she still gets wet. She fell in love with rain, for she thought that if she loved it then it would fade, she fell in love with her sadness, for she thought that if she loved it then it would fade, now she hopes for the sun to return, now she hopes for her happiness to return. She has cursed herself and is now forced to bare with it until it ends...she's just a girl with a weak heart, just a broken girl. (Edited)