Heartbreaker

6. Mixed feelings

"Alfalfa sprouts, arugula, lentils, cucumber, some yogurt dressing and leaf lettuce on top, please." I had the opportunity to take advantage of my lunch break, as all my girls had to attend to an important theater project. Everyday at lunch time I had the same ritual, what can I say, I was a creature of habit. Even if mostly everyone around me found my eating habits disgusting.

"Are you on a super strict diet or why are you eating the greens?" a haughty voice behind me crooned. "I'd like to pay with cash." Without giving him a glance, I maneuvered my full tray of food past Harry Green to the cash register. Why did he suddenly appear everywhere I went? Someone should hang a bell around this guy's neck." At least you don't seem to need it. You really do have a fit body." "Do I?" I turned around, smugly smiling while the cashier collected my money. "How many girls have you told that to today. Four? Ten? Your pick-up lines and slimy compliments aren't getting any better, even if you think they'll get better the more you use them. It's not going to work. Face it." "Jamie Jamie, you underestimate me, I like that," he grinned, not at all intimidated by my harsh words, putting his arm around me and winking at his group of boys. Backstreet Boys wannabes. "Did you get my text?" "Why for god sakes is everyone asking me that today!" I shook off his arm, picked up my tray and headed for one of the empty tables. " I'll see you later babe!" he called after me cockily and I just growled angrily. "Eww. Just leave me alone.", I whispered to myself, completely annoyed. 

Later on the rugby field I was waiting for Kit, trying to occupy myself with some literature. 

"Don't give me those puppy eyes." I couldn't help but laugh as he approached me with slightly messy hair and a muddy face. "Have you gotten off practice just now?" He dropped onto the bench next to me and nodded, breathing heavily. "It was so intense. Really good practice session. I'm just completely exhausted." With an embarrassed smile, I brushed a strand of hair behind my ear and stared at the book pages in front of me. "What are you reading?" "Pride and Prejudice? It's kind of required reading this year." "What's it about?" "Oh just two people who hate each other but then love each other and at first don't get together, then they do get engaged while she is promised to someone else and so is he, until finally...somehow you don't seem to be able to quite follow the story, did I confuse you?" He laughed and tousled my hair. "How the hell can something be so complicated?" You have no idea Kit. "Well the 19th century had all the real drama compared to high school." I replied with a smile and flipped my book closed. "I thought you wanted me to wait for you? Is something wrong?" He ran his hand through his hair thoughtfully. "Yes there is indeed something. I think I've fallen in love with you. When I kissed you at the party, that's when I realized it. I know we're just friends but I want to ask you if you..." 

 "Jamie?" "Huh?" I startled out of my thoughts and saw his frowning expression. "I said I wanted to ask you something!" My stomach rolled over. Was this actually a daydream or reality? Or both? "About Harry and you." No, apparently it was just a surreal nightmare. "What about him?", I asked skeptically. Kit looked really uncomfortable. "There's been some gossip since the party. I don't think anything of it, but the guys are talking in the locker room. I wanted to ask you if there was anything to it." He looked at me with concern. "Not because I need to know but....I'm your friend. I care about you. And if Harry and you..have feelings..and there's something between you, then it's okay. I just wanted to know if you were aware that he was talking about you." My heart beat painfully against my rib cage. "What gossip?" He leaned over and stroked my hair; confused, I paused. He held up a feather. "Sorry, it got caught in your curls." The sudden closeness to him had completely thrown me for a brief moment. "Kit tell me." I could hear shear panic in my own voice. "Are there any rumors about him and I? Because according to me nothing else happened except one kiss. Which I had initiated. Nothing more." Kit's gaze changed abruptly. Grimly, he looked out onto the field. I could see his whole posture tense up. "He said..don't worry about it. I'll work it out with him Jamie." "Like you're going to work it out with him, what are you going to do, punch him?" He looked at me puzzled, grabbed my hand and shook his head vigorously. "I'm going to call him out on what lies he's telling. That I know about it and that he's in the wrong. He has no right to talk about you like that Jamie." "It's not like that has stopped him before Kit. There always been rumors, especially...especially last year." I put my books in my backpack and stood up. "Please just stay out of it. It won't do any good." "Okay." I could see the doubt in his eyes, but he didn't understand what was going on inside me. Before Kit, there were other phases in my life that I didn't tell him about. He couldn't be protective of me. "I appreciate your concerns about me but you don't have to worry." He nodded, stood up and hugged me tightly. "I really care about you."

"Anything new?" "It feels like it's raining forever." I was snuggled up on my windowsill with my hot coffee in hand. "That's what spring is all about." Julie sat with me and we watched the rain drown the world outside my window. "The plants need the water, believe me, in a few weeks the most beautiful flowers will bloom here and you will be happy." "Perhaps." I propped my head on my knees. "Have you ever wished you could just...just leave, live somewhere else, start over?" She grinned. "Have you gotten the urge to travel?" I shook my head morosely. "It's more a fight or flight reaction. There's talk at school..." "About what?" I sighed."About me and Harry Green." "Saying what?" "I don't know. I haven't asked. But I can assume it's nothing nice." She looked at me, being pretty upset. "I can't wait for you to finally get that damn degree and get the hell out of there. High School is just the worst." "Well I would actually prefer homeschooling right now, so maybe you'll have a study buddy pretty soon." We smiled at each other, she put her arms around me. "If that would be the case you wouldn't be able to see your friends. Oh and let's not forget about your crush!" I hid my face. "No, don't mention him please. He kept trying to protect me. It was so humiliating. I can't believe he heard all these stories now too." Julie looked at me thoughtfully. "Well if you say he's protective over you, there might be some feelings on his side, right?" I bit my lips. I still haven't told her about my mess with Charlie, Kit and I. I promised not to tell anyone and I would keep it that way. "Absolutely not. You really can't convince me on this one, I am a hundred percent sure there are no feelings there on his part. I am unhappily in love." I looked outside the window again. Out on the main street I saw one of the postmen fighting against the strong wind and the downpour. "Hi my name is Jamie and I am unhappily in love.", I said jokingly. "Hi Jamie, it's so nice to meet you.", says Julie, hugging me proud for being acceptive of my own feelings.