Tribulation [h.s]

44

"Think I like you best when you're just with me
And no one else."

-

"Maggie, what the hell are you doing?"

"That's a bad word, Allie."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Maggie, you can't take Cheddar to school."

I never thought those words would come out of my mouth, yet, here we are.

Sigh.

Right on cue, the orange kitten sticks his head out from her school bag and meows right at me—that little shit.

"But, he wants to go to school with me. See?"

"Maggie, you can't shove Cheddar into your school bag and carry him around all day!" I scold her and take Cheddar out of her pink school bag. "He could have gotten hurt, and you would have gotten in trouble. Do you want to get in trouble?" I just woke up. I did not want to start my morning dealing with a whiny six-year-old and that little orange menace.

"...No." She shakes her head slowly, frowning. "I-I'm sorry," she murmurs and looks down as she plays with her fingers.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I mentally count to three because, honestly, I'm at my wit's end.

Last night around seven, Maggie told me she had a project – one I knew nothing about – and she said it was due tomorrow. So, what did I do all night? I stayed up making a fucking makeshift animal habitat and didn't finish until one in the morning. It was my off day from work, and I barely slept. Not to mention that today, I'm working the morning shift. So it's not like I can come back to my apartment and catch up on the sleep I didn't get last night.

My head is pounding, I'm agitated, and Maggie just shoved our cat into her bag and tried sneaking him off to school with her.

What the fuck.

On top of all of that, I slept through my alarm, so now I'm running late. I still have to make Maggie's lunch, make sure she's dressed and has her project, drop her off at school, and then I have to rush to work.

One, two, three – I focus on my breathing. She's just a kid, I remind myself. She never meant for this to happen.

Breathe, Allie.

When I've calmed myself down considerably, I kneel before Maggie and grab her hands. "Why are you trying to bring Cheddar to school with you?" She shrinks in on herself and shrugs. That's when all my anger melts away. Something is wrong. "What's wrong, baby?" I say much softer this time, brushing her wild hair from her face.

"Cheddar is my friend. I miss him while I'm at school," she explains, unable to make eye contact with me.

I grab her face gently, forcing her to look at me. "Is that all?"

She nods. "Y-yep."

I force a smile, hoping she doesn't see me physically deflate. She's hiding something from me, but I can't force her to talk if she's not ready to tell me. So, I kiss her cheek. "When you're ready to talk, I'm here, okay? I'm always here for you."

She turns around and zips up her school bag. I look at her with furrowed brows as I wrack my brain for answers but ultimately come up with nothing. I should give her space. Hesitating, I walk out of her room and walk back to the kitchen to finish making her lunch.

I pack her carrots with ranch, an apple, a turkey sandwich with whole-grain bread (with the ends cut off, of course), and low-sugar fruit snacks and juice.