The End

Chapter Fifteen

Tullah stepped onto the bus, she tapped her go card before shifting her gaze through the crowded bus.

She wasn't surprised to not see Lola, she never could for the first few moments of the trip.

Tullah squashed herself amongst the passengers at the front of the bus as the bus doors closed, she held tight onto the bag rail as the bus began to move.

She shifted her focus to outside the bus front window, thoughts swirled her mind.

Last night was the first time Tullah had tried to self-harm, it was the first time she had done anything than cry about it, it was the first time Tullah had allowed her thoughts to try to win over, she could still feel the cold blade against her wrist, she could still replay the image of what she tried to do last night in her mind.

Her stomach rumbled as the bus stopped, she tried to squeeze herself out of the way as students from another school tried to push and shove their way off the bus.

Tullah glanced up at the half full bus, she smiled a little to herself as she found an empty seat. She made her way up towards the back of the bus and sat down, she shifted her glance out the window as the bus to school continued, stopping every so often.

She blinked her eyes excessively as she felt tears well up in her eyes, she pulled her phone out of her pocket as she tried to distract herself, but her mind refused to focus on her phone screen.

Tullah took a deep breath before exhaling as she tried to keep her tears away.

She continued to attempt to keep focus on her phone, trying to let her small screen try to distract her from the thoughts swirling in her mind.

Tullah struggled at home, it was something she could easily lie about when she was with friends and certainly not at home, she had rules to follow from her mum, but those rules seemed almost impossible to follow especially with a seventeen year old who wished she could fit in more with others around her age.

Tullah put up with school, she had to go. It was the law, either go to school or work; there was no in between, if you didn't go than the police would come knocking on the door. She wasn't sure if that was entirely true but according to the news it was.

Tullah put up with her friends, she had gone to one primary school for her first seven years of education and dealt with being bullied until her mother believed her education would thrive in a private school only for Tullah to struggle for two straight years and her mother couldn't figure out why money was being wasted.

Than the end of year nine rolled around and Tullah enrolled at Logan High School to finish off her final three years of education, at first it started off fine. She wasn't being bullied or shamed for who her crush was, she had taught herself to keep the idea of who she crushed on to herself, which was easy, none of the boys in her grade really interested her.

Tullah had only become friends with Lola because it was the first person to introduce themselves to Tullah when she started in year ten, Lola took Tullah under her wing. Than she was introduced to Cleo and the rest of their gang.

Tullah liked hanging out with them, but she knew she was nothing like them. She wasn't a partying girl, she didn't sneak out of the house for whatever reason; she didn't even climb out her bedroom window to check the power box next to her window, She didn't sleep around with the guys in her group or even have sex with anyone outside of the group. Sure, Tullah spoke about having a sex life, but she didn't have one. She hadn't even kissed a boy, or maybe she had but she couldn't remember; maybe when she was an innocent child and a quick peck on the lips meant nothing to a four year old.

Outside of school, Tullah didn't socialise. She had social media and that's as far as her socialising went when it came to talking to people during the weekends and after school, that was if the internet hadn't been temporarily turned off because of her so-called smartass antics at home.

Being an only child was something Tullah had gotten used to; her mother had spent Tullah's early years working nonstop until she meant her current partner than slowed down in her working years.

It was almost if Tullah was never wanted as a child, some days she thought exactly that.