I'm writing this to cope with my own issues. If you're in recovery from ana, don't read. I'm not pro anything. Also I would recommend kind of waiting for the lyrics ig? It doesn't really matter if you don't speak Spanish though. Translation will be added in the comments though.Translating is a hard task to do, so pls don't harass me. But I will take criticism. TW: ana *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*ﾟ*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
Your POV:
Hoy creí que ya olvidó Que todo iba ya mejor Pero fue un sueño nada más
I told Ashtray I joined recovery, but like mentally ill people, we lie. I did join it, but I ended up quitting. It's not that hard to fake it tbh, you just gotta make your lies believable. I think it's just easier to stay in this cycle? It's not fun but I can't complain. I didn't want Ash to find out, like at all. Last time he found out it wasn't pretty. Fez was also in the room, and I'm not even sure how he responded to it, I was mostly focused on Ashtray. his eyes were a little glossy, and he looked at me in disbelief. He just stared, for so long. Then I heard Fez's words, "you're k!ll!ng yourself right in front of us." I immediately looked down in shame. It's easier to do this shit when nobody notices.
Yo sigo aquí Yo también quiero ser feliz Mira, mi amor Yo sigo aquí Yo sigo estando para ti
Ashtray then broke his own silence "You're seriously fucked up." I just got more embarrassed, I didn't think telling them wouldn't have this affect, usually, my friends wouldn't care as much. They'd brush it off. Either way, back to present times, since I don't like talking about that topic. Ashtray did find out I quit recovery. I was having memory loss problems, always chewing gum, wearing more baggy clothes, brain fog, and more. I guess he just saw every sign. I hated that about him, he'd always notice everything. Either way, he did tell me he knew. "You're pretty " he said as he showed me a picture he had from a few days ago, gosh I really hated that photo.. "If you don't shut up" I said chuckling a little at the end. "Well then maybe if you didn't think you were so ugly then you wouldn't be in such denial about someone finding you pretty." He said as he pulled something from his phone. I saw it, g/b/f/n (guy best friends name) told him. I'm not even sure about how he knew. "I tried to help you so many times n/n.." he said as his eyes got glossy, but he didn't dare let the tears spill out. He was actually mad at me . "I guess you should've given up " I said, and he looked straight into my eyes with angry eyes.
A few days later my family admitted me to a mental hospital, I was glad to be out. I hated it so much. 2 days after getting out of the hospital I went to Ashtrays. He looked at me, and asked me "what keeps you going today?" Honestly, he did. They didn't deserve to see me this way, nobody does. "Hoy sigo estando para ti." I said as he hugged me tightly, after that it was as if nothing happened. Well, he still made sure I was alright almost everyday. I can't be mad though, I truly loved Ash.
Hoy sigo estando para ti Hoy sigo estando para ti Hoy sigo estando para ti Hoy sigo estando para ti Hoy sigo estando para ti
*･゜･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*ﾟ*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
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Quick reminder that I am not pro-ana or pro anything, if you have an ED please stay as safe as you can. dm me and I'll try to comfort you.
