-flashback- It was a few days before Luca's birthday, and I was shopping for his gift. I was at the nearby mall, when I got the call. I don't really wanna think about what was said, but Luca was dead. He was in the hospital because of su!c!de I broke down in the mall. Tears spilling out and my makeup ruined, I ran out of the mall and into the car. The whole car ride to the hospital I was hysterical. He was put to a machine and all I could do was hold his hand. He was unresponsive. Then I heard a fat line, I was taken out of the room as I was crying again and screaming for him to hold on. He didn't.
-back to present-
It was his 2 year death-anniversary. I was now 17, I still miss him deeply. I wish he was still here, because he was truly the love of my life. Maybe we were just 15, but we actually did love each other. He was my chambelan for my quince, and sometimes I still look at the photos of that day. We were so in love. I ended up moving on and dating Ashtray. He didn't mind me still caring and grieving Luca, I think he understands how I feel. I mean his grandma is still alive ig but she's been in a coma for so long, so he's kinda grieving too.
n/n
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N/n : I miss you so much. I wish you were still with me, you will always be my #1. I know you're up there watching me, I hope you're proud and I'm so sorry you had to leave us so soon. We all miss you, heaven gained an angel the day you left. 🤍🕊 @locoluca
Comments
@maria.martin: dios lo está protegiendo ↳ @n/n: tu hijo era un regalo de dios 💗
@Devonthegoat: gta isn't the same without him 🙏
@Ballingtrevor: RIP 🙏🏀 missing him in the court
@ashtray420: 🙏❤️🕊
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I turned off my phone and laid in my bed, Ashtray was coming over. He knew how hard this day was for me. I was still heartbroken, and he understood that. He still loved me and wanted to make sure I was okay. His friends reached out to me after he died, even more since I was also friends with them. They invited me to go to a party, so I did. Luca would have wanted me to go, he loved partying. I sat outside when Ashtray caught my attention, he was selling which wasn't a big deal to me. But I didn't buy any, I just went up to him to talk. I wasn't really interested in getting wasted but I just wanted to talk to somebody yk? We became really good friends, and after a year of me being single he asked me. He knew I still wasn't over Luca, but I did want to start something new. So I did. I think Luca would have wanted me to move on, right? Sometimes I felt guilty, but I deserved to be happy. I soon then heard a knock at the door,
"come in" i said and Ash walked in having on his matching set of pjs
"Hey ma, what's up?" He asked as he got into the bed giving me a kiss and then cuddling me.
"Nothing really, I think this year is better than last year." I said, last year was the first year. I was crying a lot to ashtray. It was a huge reminder, and then Luca's birthday being a few days later was another one.
"Atleast that's good, im here for you ma. Ok?" He said reminding me. I hummed and turned on one of my favorite movies. Me and him just watched the movie as he rubbed my back and kissed me occasionally. I would do the same to him too. Earlier today I went to Luca's grave and updated him on everything. I cleaned it and left him flowers and a teddy bear. I did truly miss him, and sometimes I wondered if it was right that I moved on "quickly". I don't know.
*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*ﾟ*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜
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*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*ﾟ*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ If you're feeling su!c!dal or depressed please seek some form of help. You deserve happiness. And I promise you, you aren't as alone as you feel. There's people that care and love you. If you lived in a burning town your whole life you will think the whole world is burning. Just like if you lived your whole life hating yourself you will think everybody hates you. Which just isn't the case. I care for you, and nobody should ever feel that way. Please always remember that you are enough and worth it. If you ever need to talk to anyone dm me. I love y'all and please stay safe 🤍
