ashtray imagines 💗

21. mistake (IMPORTANT!)

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*ﾟ*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

TW: smoking, depression, eating disorder

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*ﾟ*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

YOUR POV: 

I woke up. Already knowing how this day was going to go. I'd get ready, wear some baggy pants with a crop top and a sip up sweater. Then I'd put my makeup on, do my hair, brush my teeth, and take a few hits of my cart. After taking a few hits of my cart I'll probably get paranoid and shut down a little, but I'll still go to school. Keep my head down, think about how I'm ruining my future, think about nyu... will I even get in? A thousand thoughts run through my mind. Will I even go to college? Whatever, everything is temporary. Then I'll forget to eat until I come home, get high again and either binge on everything and anything I see or fast for the next few days. That has been the cycle of my life for the past few weeks. Exactly that. I dyed my hair a little ago, just to feel something new. Or see something new. Now I hate and love looking in the mirror. I dont hate my face, I dont love it either. Honestly I hate mostly everything about my life. But it's ok. One day I'll move away from this shitty town, and get a new page. But the only thing I do like about my life is Ash. Me and Ash aren't super close, he's friends with my friends. But I have met him and talked to him, we also follow each other on insta. I've only been high around him once, and it wasn't for long. We were at a football game. I was dealing with some issues with this other guy and decided to hit my cart. My tolerance isn't high yet, I get high pretty easily and it lasts a long time too. My eyes were red and my pupils dilated, one look in my eyes and you'd know. He was also high, and so were our friends. Maryam was high, and she wanted to leave the game with her boyfriend. So they did, and Ash went with them. I would've also gone, if my parents weren't up my ass that day. We've talked a few times before and since then, but now that he knows I also get high things have been different. Today I hanged out at my friend house, her mom isn't home and wont be until tomorrow. we're all high asf. So we decide to go to a mall, we walk to a nearby cvs and I buy a Uber card. We buy an Uber and get in, we're all geeked and trying not to laugh. We hang at the mall for a lil, take a photo at the photo booth and walk to Macdonalds. While my friends are eating their food I post the photo we took at the photo booth, without thinking much ofc. We then a little later go home, nothing much happened. Few hours later, Its night time. We're all watching south park on my friends sofa and I'm about to fall asleep when I see a notification, "ashtrayy2 liked your story" I didnt think much of it. He always likes my stories. I only thought it was weird when he then RESPONDED WITH HEART EYES? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? AT THIS POINT JUST ASK FOR MARRIAGE. Okay, I'm just playing. He liked my story, so what? He responded, so what? What I didnt know.. was that this was gonna be my biggest mistake, and my most favorite. This would start a chapter in my life that challenges my relationship with food and body, my grades, my relationship with my parents, friends, everything. 

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*ﾟ*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

OK GUYS!! this is obviously not an imagine but a thought for a story. I've been thinking about just starting a fanfic book instead of continuing this fanfic imagines. Are you guys interested? PLEASE, let me know. I might change the story around a little since I don't know how I feel about this plot yet.