The Affair [boyxboy]

The Affair {19}

                                                                                ***Connor’s POV***

                “Ian, can you hand me the chocolate chips?” mom asked.

                “Sure Laura. Here you go,” dad said, handing mom a bag of chocolate chips and kissing her.

                I sat at the counter across from them, my chin resting on my palm. They were making chocolate chip cookies together. Back before I became the invisible boy, I would help them.

                I grabbed a spoon and began to play with it, twirling it on the counter. I was so lonely. I was desperate enough to sit here and imagine that my parents acknowledged my existence.

                “Ian, did you move the spoon over here?” mom asked, snatching it away from me. I watched her sadly, fighting off my emotions.

                “No,” dad said, glancing at her before going back to cleaning up some spilled milk.

                “I know you guys can see me,” I said quietly. “If you would look at me, just once, that’s all I need. Please. I need you guys right now.”

                Mom began to hum softly as she continued making the cookies. Dad smiled at her and came over, wrapping his arms around her waist and watching her. Neither of them looked at me.

                I felt my eyes watering. “Even just glance up at me. Say you hear something. Say you hear the wind. Anything,” I begged. “Please. You’re supposed to be my parents. You guys promised you would always be there for me!”

                Mom kept humming. Dad began to help her stir the cookies, humming along with her. They looked so happy together.

                “Mom, dad, please. I lost Blake, Felix, and Luka. I need someone. I need my parents. I’m sorry I’m gay. I’m sorry you can’t accept it. But I’m still your son. I’m still Connor Garret Brennan. Please just look at me.” I was crying now.

                “Look at that Laura. It’s such a nice day out. We should go sit out by the pool while we wait for the cookies to be done,” dad said, staring past me and out the window. I wasn’t even there to him. Just a ghost in my own house.

                “Yes, it’s lovely out,” mom said, smiling widely.

                “Look at me!” I screamed, crying hard now. My mind was racing with thoughts of Luka, Blake, and my parents. Terror coursed through me at the very thought of Luka ignoring me too. Pretending I didn’t exist anymore. Treating me as the invisible boy.

                “I know you can see me!” I cried, reaching out to grab my dad’s arm. But that invisible barrier of hate and shame stopped me from touching him. I cringed back and wrapped my arms around myself, sobbing. “Just look at me,” I whimpered.

                But of course they didn’t. They continued to talk with each other and laugh, a happy, childless couple.

                I got up and dragged myself to my bedroom. I collapsed on my bed, hating everything. I tried to pull myself out of my self-pitying state and failed.

                My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket. “Hello?” I answered, trying desperately to sound normal.

                “Connor?”