One Step at a Time

Chapter 8

Sadie's POV

"Hey, baby," my mom greeted me from the table. I had been on my way to rehearsal. Not that I was excited to go after yesterday. The plan was to talk to Simon and Coach Barnes. Let them know that this wasn't the best fit for me. Hopefully Coach would still keep Simon since it wasn't his fault for my leaving.

"I made you some breakfast," she gestured to a plate next to her. "Just some eggs and bacon to go with your usual bagel this morning."

"Thanks." I sat next to her at the table.

"Of course. You could use the protein."

I gave a small smile, but my mind was elsewhere. Brooklyn's voice had filled my thoughts ever since I had got home last night. Sleep was not a familiar friend last night. That's for sure.

"I don't have to be in the office as early today, so I can drive you today."

"Hmm?" I looked up and swallowed. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Okay, I'll get my bag and we can head out."

The car ride had been mostly silent. My mom would say something small and I would nod, at most give a "yeah". Part of me felt guilty, but I was not in a grounded headspace this morning. My thoughts were pulling me every other direction. We were halfway there when my mom spoke up.

"Is everything okay, Sadie?"

"I'm just tired." I couldn't even offer a convincing smile this morning, so I kept my head turned towards the window.

"It's just- you've been so quiet, not just this morning. The past week you have not been yourself. Is everything alright?"

"I am so tired, Mom." Turning my head, I knew that she was not satisfied. "Coach has us working like crazy, I have not been so sore in my life." A small laugh came out. It was true, my legs were shaking that first week like crazy.

"They aren't working y'all too hard are they? Do I need to-"

"No!" I cut her off. "Absolutely not, Mom. Everything is just fine. It's been a lot of fun, really. I just used to slack with Aunt Anna."

That wasn't a total lie. Besides, after today, it wouldn't matter if Coach was too hard or not. The thought of talking to her felt as though my stomach had swallowed my heart whole.

"I'm so proud of you, Sadie," Mom looked over at me again.

"For what?"

"Doing this. The whole dance team thing. These circumstances are hard and you have handled it all with such grace."

"Mom, I wouldn't go that far-"

"No I mean it. When I was your age, I quit anything that was hard. You are just so amazing. And I am so proud. I'm sure your dad is, too." Double meaning was laced within my mom's last sentence. Anytime she spoke of my dad it was always the same. Some sort of passive aggressive remark.

"Thanks, Mom." She pulled into the parking lot and quickly found a spot near the gym entrance.

"Of course. It means a lot that you aren't quitting."

Those words felt like a knife in my chest. It wasn't often I did anything my parents were proud of. At least, that they didn't pretend to be proud of. I had to tell her. Do it. Now. Rip it off like a bandaid.