𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞

Chapter Twenty-Five

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Matthew did not call Imani that day; he didn't want to worry her, and he knew hearing that father Josè wished to see her would give her unnecessary worry, so he took a day to figure out the best way to approach the topic.

Seated in class the following evening, Imani started to panic; she'd promised herself she wouldn't worry, but what else was she supposed to do if the man she loved hadn't called her as promised? Had he changed his mind about the affair? Job position? Why wouldn't he call? It bothered her so much that she couldn't concentrate in class. If life had taught Imani anything, it was how to move on fast. She had done it since she was sixteen, never putting down her roots anywhere, but moving on from Matthew would hurt like hell, not only because her heart would be broken, but because she would always wonder why he never called.

Imani found her mind going back to the last time they were together, staring in space, recalling his every touch, smile, laugh, right until the final part where she had left him standing at his driveway, his hands in his sweatpants.

Should I call him? She asked herself for the million time.

She didn't know what to do. For the first time in years, Imani wanted to break down. She had often said tears solved nothing, true, but it felt as if a good cry would lessen the pain of never seeing Matthew again. The worst part was how she kept dragging herself through the mud by blaming herself for not being enough. She experienced the turbulence of emotions with him in the middle of all of them. She walked through the streets, her arms on her chest wrapped around some of her books.

She had believed every word that came out of his mouth, but she had been right. Men like Matthew did not go for uneducated women like her, yet that did nothing to console her.

She did again. Invalidating herself because of him. She needed to stop it.

When she stood waiting for the train, her phone rang, it was Matthew. Her heart skipped a beat; her fingers trembled, and her eyes filled with tears. She couldn't decide whether they were of relief or sorrow.

"Hello," she said after a while. Matthew did not speak for a fraction of a minute; he could not believe how much her voice affected him. He missed her and wished he could see her.

"Imani." He called because he wanted to say her name aloud; he loved it.

"Yes," she answered, stepping back to get some privacy. Suddenly, everything seemed normal; her world was right again; hearing his voice felt like a ray of sunshine.

"We need to talk." he sounded apprehensive.

Maybe he had changed his mind after all. Imani thought, wanting to laugh in an offhand manner, but no sound came.

"Are you free now?"

"No. Can we talk another day?" she could have said they talk over the phone, but if they were to break up, she would rather do it in person to see him one more time.

Matthew said nothing for a while, wondering at how cold she sounded.

Didn't she miss him as much as he missed her?

"I miss you," he said, sotto voce. Matthew had never thought he would ever bare his heart to anyone, but he would do so with Imani if it meant he got to keep her.

"You do?" She asked in a wistful tone. Matthew's lips stretch in duchenne smile.

"Yes, but I don't think you've missed me at all." He responded in feigned anguish. Imani thought of what to say to retain her pride, but relationships demanded honesty and Matthew had been open with her so far. She knew it wasn't easy to deal with her, especially for a man who had had everything he set his eyes on in the past.