𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞

Chapter Forty-Four

.............................................................

It was raining heavily when Matthew landed. Usually, he didn't think much of it other than a change of weather, but today was different; it felt cold both physically and emotionally, as if it carried some sort of doom. Taking the umbrella Pete handed him when he packed outside the house, Matthew opened the door and jumped out. He was feeling a sense of delight and trepidation.

He sighed loudly when the warmth of the house embraced him, leaning on the door and closing his eyes for a moment to feel the welcoming air. It was great to be home; he felt content and peaceful, not miserable that it was the same house she'd rejected him in; ironically, it felt as if the house didn't carry that memory, and Matthew liked that because he happened to like the place.

Walking to the kitchen, he switched the lights on, illuminating the whole spotless room; nothing was out of place, which reminded him of how Imani leaves cups in the sink when she takes tea or chocolate at night.  Looking around, he realized he wasn't hungry, and neither did he need anything from the kitchen, but he longed for a glass of whiskey.

He took a glass and sat on the balcony, looking at the city far away from his home. He couldn't wait for tomorrow, yet he didn't want to put himself in the same situation where he could be rejected again, but he had no choice. He wanted to know whether Imani would choose him this time.

He would propose immediately, he thought, or not, he didn't want to scare her, but damn it! He wanted her.

To be his wife.

The mother of his children.

His friend and lover until death came calling.

Was that too much to want? Or expect? Matthew hoped not. He finished and went back inside, jumped into the shower, and finally went to bed. The only place he got to see her since they broke up was in his dreams.

The devil must hate him because Matthew felt it like it was a punishment to see her so clearly and not touch her. He missed kissing her, the way she giggled when he kissed her neck, the smell of her hair, the way she leaped into his arms, her legs wrapped on his waist.

How would he live without her if she chose not to have him? Matthew suddenly felt cold even though he was inside a warm comforter.

Eventually, he fell asleep, but he saw her running toward him with a smile on her face, and when he woke up, he took that as a good sign.  He had never been superstitious, but he believed it meant she wanted him in her life too.

When Pete picked him up for work the following morning, he smiled at him, and Pete's eyes widened with surprise because Matthew had been gloomy the whole time they were away. Pete thought perhaps being home had improved his moods, and he smiled back at his boss, feeling energized by the day already.

Leaning on his seat, Matthew slightly opened the window to peer outside. It didn't rain, but the mistiness of last night's rain could be felt and smelled, and so did the beating of his heart, pounding as if it wanted to announce its existence.

The morning part of his routine was predictable and a little bit boring; maybe it's because he was looking forward to seeing Imani, and when the meetings ended in mid-morning, Matthew told Isaac to get Imani. Isaac didn't think anything of it other than perhaps father Josè had passed on a message to her through Matthew because he had been in Italy yesterday. Imani felt like she was on a rollercoaster when she was told Matt wanted to see her. Her eyes couldn't focus, her head felt as if it was spinning, and anytime she might faint, that's how scared, uncertain, and excited she was to see him.

Smiling at Isaac, she remained seated, giving no intention that she intended to go to their boss's office.

She was scared; the last time they had been together, he had pretty much banished her from his life.