𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞

Chapter Forty-Two

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Imani got her GED certificate few weeks later, she felt as if she'd accomplished more than she'd set out to do when she first thought of it. That evening, while she was seated on the floor and Jamie on the couch watching tv, she texted Matthew. Part of her wanted to initiate a conversation to find out whether he missed her as much as she did him; the other was to let him know—as one of her friends, even though he had said they were not friends, that she had fulfilled one of her dreams.

Matthew got the text. His heart thumped when he saw it, missing her, proud of her, and wishing he could see her, but he didn't reply immediately. He waited, not out of spite but out of self-preservation; he knew falling back into their previous relationship routine was easy all he had to do was reply with the truth, yet he couldn't do it no matter how much his heart yearned for her.

When he didn't reply, Imani felt the rejection. It was crazy how much she had counted on his reply. To hear from him, but if she had learned anything about Matt since they began their relationship, it was how decisive he was.

Getting up from the floor, she went to start their dinner; she was cooking mashed potatoes, liver, and onion gravy. She'd promised Jamie they would celebrate her getting her certificate next week, but to be honest, she had wished Matthew would call to take both of them out. She had counted so much on him when he didn't reply to her text; it was like experiencing another wound of heartbreak.

"Imani, you got a text." Jamie yelled from the living room; she ran, leaving the cooker on, while her stomach filled with butterflies swimming with anticipation.

She knew in her heart that it was him. She prayed while sprinting to the living room for a positive reply, but it was one word—congratulations—her whole being shrunk with disappointment.

Imani walked back to the kitchen feeling dejected, wondering how she would go on if she constantly wanted him back into her life.

On Monday of the week she got her GED certificate, she reported to work, as usual, excited like every Monday because Buscorp meetings were held that day. But it was also because she got to see Matthew walking to his elevator, but this time he didn't.

He did not come to work, and by eleven that morning, the whole office had known he wouldn't come for weeks. He was visiting Ocean corporations offices across the globe.

He was hiding, Imani thought. But she couldn't blame him; she had decided not to be in his life, and he had made his choice to remove himself from a situation where he had to see her daily, not that he ever saw her, but he must sense her as she sensed him.

After that Monday, Imani found the office didn't excite her anymore, but she still went because she had to earn a living, and the office reminded her too much of him, which she liked somehow. She liked to think the air was filled with his scent, and the people around her talked much about him. In a way, hearing about him helped her deal with his absence especially when he started appearing on the news and magazines not to mention social media.

Matthew's life was a whirlwind for more than a month. He didn't get much sleep and rarely ate well; his mind was actively focused on the pending projects in ocean corporation. The government of Rwanda finally consented to invest in that company he was eyeing; Buscorp was becoming the latest social media platform that few people preferred; Matthew was convinced everything would work well, except perhaps his love life, which was a topic he never allowed his mind to venture into.

He hadn't seen her in week; he probably won't see her in a couple more. Sometimes he thought his heart would burst from missing her, but then he would throw himself into intensive work to keep from calling her.

It was a war between his heart and mind with the latter gatekeeping him from making the mistake of falling back into their old relationship where a limit dictated their stay together.

While Matthew was away, Imani had moved offices. She had been given another corner in the Buscorp marketing team because she'd suggested perhaps they needed a better name for the platform.

"Buscorp sounds more like a bus traveling company than a social media networking site. What about Telexcon?"

"Sounds like a telecommunication company." one of them said, and they all laughed, and Imani found she liked the camaraderie of a team that didn't look at her lack of education as a hindrance to what they were doing.

They listened to her; respected her opinions as much as everyone else in the room. She didn't know whether Isaac had used father Josè as a shield for her, but she appreciated being valued.

Matthew was right; Ocean Cooperation would be a stepping stone for her future goals. She already knew what she wanted to do in college—Sales and marketing; she had a flair for it. Imani looked at her team members and smiled, taking a sip of her sprite.

"Imani, any other suggestions?"

She shook her head, "come on, people; we need a kick-ass name to present to Mr. Ocean." their manager said. Everyone looked at their monitors, "isn't he traveling?" Imani asked in a timid voice.

"Not exactly for pleasure; he is working although he doesn't travel when we have a new product in the market."

That was another proof that he was away to avoid her. She felt hurt even knowing she was the reason he left.

"He meets head of departments often while away. It's exciting and also nerve-wracking because you don't want to hear how well other departments are doing, and yours is just lagging."

Imani nodded again without saying a word. She envied them for having a chance to see him while she had to watch the news or pick a newspaper to see him.

I wonder how he's doing. She thought, pretending to type in something on her laptop while her mind replayed their memories together—another new, but wrong, stressful, and painful habit.

After the meeting, Imani walked to the bathroom; she needed a little break to put herself back in order. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw how forlorn she had become. No wonder Jamie kept asking whether she was okay. She swore to find a way to to begin her life without matthew.

She has lived with a broken heart before, different kind, but still, it was the same heart. Burying a mom at sixteen and becoming a mother to an infant while still morning had not been easy, but Imani had done it. Hopping from one city to the next, ensuring Jamie stayed safe and provided. The sleepless nights, the fear that her brother wouldn't survive long, but she had managed—they had managed. Shouldn't surviving a heart broken by a man be easier than that?