The Gothic Phoenix

The Grand Opening

It was the Grand Opening of the Addams family's new hotel, the Gothic Phoenix, and its first guests were arriving. Suddenly, a window smashed open, and a pale woman with blond pigtails wearing red and black spandex jumped through it.

“Don’t worry ladies and gentlemen,” she began with a squeaky, Jersey accent. “the fun has arrived!”

“Oh goody,” Morticia Addams said, stepping over to the other woman. “Gomez darling the entertainment is here.”

“Ah you must be the lovely Harley Quinn.” Gomez smiled beside his wife.

“You bet ya britches Mr. Addams, oh and uh, sorry for the window. I tend to have a flare for the dram’atic.” She responded, swinging her giant hammer over her shoulder with one hand, and with other making the jazz-hand gesture.

“Ah don’t worry about it Miss Quinn, my son Pugsley’s the same way so I got a warranty for everything in this building. Even the roaches, friendly little fellas.”

“Wonderful, well, just so you know, I know I said I was going to do some stand up comedy, but I just broke up with my absolutely dead-beat boyfriend, who thought he was the funniest guy in the world, so I’m not really in a jokey mood. Instead I would like to sing a lil song for yall.”

“Why that’s capital Miss. Quinn! I’m sure you have a lovely singing voice.”

“Yes-sir-ee! I’ve been practicin’!” She responded proudly.

“Our Butler Lurch would be happy to accompany you on his harpsichord!” Said Morticia. “And I do hope you feel better soon darling, break ups with certain men can be ghastly. I was very lucky to find my Gomez so early in life.”

“Ah!” Gomez began, taking her arm in his hands. “It not was not luck my dear, t’was fate.” Morticia smiled and looked away.

“Aw aren’t you guys the sweetest….” Harley narrowed her eyes in jealousy, then skipped away. Soon after, Lurch helped her and the stage get ready for her performance.

Harley Quinn then belted a song for the audience. They all watched, entertained, but, there was one person in particular that was watching her and listening to her extra closely.

In the back of the crowd, a tall man with a black cape stood, half his face covered with a white mask. He was an opera singer, whose previous love had been unrequited. So he ran away from the theater he had always called home, in an attempt to escape his feelings. He’d been running for a long time now. 

“Who is that girl up on the stage? She sings with passion, though her prance-about attitude fills me with rage.” He stated.

“Why, that’s Harley Quinn, famous in Gotham city.” Gomez answered.

“If she had some training she could become a star, though I fear she’d reject the offer, so I must admire from a afar.”

“Are you infatuated with this Miss Quinn, Mr. Phantom?”

“Even if that ridiculous implication were true, I would never admit to it. I will never again let my heart be ripped in two.”

“Well that might be for the best old chap, I hear Miss Quinn is only interested in crazy, horribly disfigured men.” With that, Gomez patted Phantom on the shoulder and walked away to mingle with his other guests.

“Interesting.” Phantom rasped. “Word that poetically rhymes with interesting.”

[Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter you might enjoy this song: 'Lovefool' a cover by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox. To add to the experience of this story, imagine Harley Quinn is singing it lol.]