Just Maybe (Playlist Series #1) ✓

110

A D I

Putangina.

Last night was a mistake. A big mistake. Sinabi ko na rin sa kanya na wala iyon ngunit hindi siya naniwala kaya narito siya sa harap ng aking pinto. Nawalan na ako ng bilang kung gaano na katagal ang pagkatok ni Kino sa pinto. Hindi ko naman aakalain na seryoso siyang pupunta rito para pilitin akong sabihin ang totoo.

"Baby, please...open the door," pagmamakaawa niya.

Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata at pinigilan ang sarili kong buksan ang pinto ngunit hindi ko magawa. Bakit ba ang hina ko pagdating sa 'yo, Kino?

Nang inikot ko ang door knob para buksan ito, sinalubong ako ng imahe ni Kino na hindi ko inaasahang makita.

He looked like a mess. His hair was disheveled and unkempt, which was odd for him as he always liked to keep himself neat when going outside. Judging by how he was dressed, I was sure na may iba siyang dapat puntahan.

Dark circles under his eyes were apparent. I assumed he hadn't been sleeping well since our "argument". Those were never there before. What was worse, it wasn't only dark circles that were in his eyes. It was puffy. Red. Has he been crying? Why?

Agad kong binawi ang kamay kong sinubukang abutin ang mukha niya para haplusin ito. Ayaw kong magpakita ng kahit anumang bakas ng panghihina sa harap niya. "Ano bang kailangan mo sa 'kin?" naiirita kong pagsabi.

"As I said, we really need to talk, Aleah." He let himself in before I could even stop him.

Isinara ko ang pinto sa aking likod at bumaling paharap sa kanya. Ipinagkrus ko ang aking mga braso at sumagot, "And as I said, we have nothing to talk about."

Tinitigan niya ako nang maigi bago muling nagsalita. "I'm not the type to beg, Aleah but if it means kneeling down would get you to talk to me, then I'm more than willing to do so."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa kanyang sinabi. No one had ever said that to me. How else would I reply to that?

"Is it true?" pagtuloy niya nang mapansin niyang hindi ako makasagot. "When you told me you love me?"

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Hindi nga."

Humakbang siya palapit sa akin. "Tell me the truth, Aleah."

Napakunot ang aking noo. Ano bang gusto niyang iparating? "What truth do you want to hear? E, sinasabi ko na nga ang totoo!"

"Another lie. For once, stop fooling yourself. You and I both know that's not the truth," pangungulit niya.

Ibinaba ko ang aking mga braso at nilagay sa 'king gilid. "That's. The. Truth. Wala ng iba," mariin kong sabi. Umiling lamang siya at inulit ang kanyang sinabi.

"The truth, Aleah. I want to hear the truth."

"Ano bang gusto mong marinig, ha?! Na sabihin kong mahal kita?!"

Ah, fuck. Screw it.

If it has come into this, then so be it.