Our secret

Damien

"What?"

Ads looked at me and I looked at her.

"I didn't want mom to know so the doctor made up some shit he knew she wouldn't question. As far as mom knows I'm still a virgin. He put me on the shot."

" ok so let me get this straight. You were pregnant. You miscarried and now your on a different birth control and the secret is still safe?"

Ads shook her head yes.

"I didn't know Damien. I had my period last month I didn't know I swear I didn't know"

Ads had tears running down her face. She was crying and I couldn't take this pain away. Not for her or for me. We lost our kid we didn't even know about. I grabbed a hold of her and wrapped my arms around her holding her so tight and close to me. I kissed the top of her head and neither one of us moved. We stayed that way for a while.

"Hey we are going to get through this together baby."

I lifted Ads chin up forcing her to face me. I wiped her tears away and planted a soft kiss to her lips. She deepened the kiss and we both welcomed it. We needed each other right now more than any other time. we just really needed each other.

"I love you I'm sorry"

Ads voice broke the kiss apart causing me to look at her.

"Sorry? Ads what are you sorry for?"
"For not knowing I was pregnant for miscarrying for scaring you."

I looked at her and kissed her forehead.

"you did scare me I thought I was ganna loose you"

Ads looked at me and gave a me the smallest smile ever.

"You havint lost me yet"

She said that and wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into my chest. I wrapped my arms back around her and held her squeezing her as tight as I could without hurting her. We heard her moms car pull into the drive. I kissed her and walked over to the other end of the island standing and leaning.

"You sure your okay ads?"

Ads mom walked into our made up conversation and sighed. She hated when ads sat on the counter. She would usually start screaming at ads but the yelling and screaming didn't come.

"Ya I'm ok I was just scared"

Ads hopped off the counter "sorry mom"
"It's okay honey"

Ads mom started pulling out the food and ads smiled and right on cue her stomach growled. I gave her a smile and grabbed the plates and silverware setting the table. Ads grabbed the cups and the pitcher from the fridge filling the cups up. Ads mom put our food in our specific spots.

I couldn't help but keep taking peeks at ads periodically when her mom wasn't paying attention. I wasn't okay so I knew damn well she was so beyond far from okay. Ads looked up at me and took another bite of food making me smile at her.

None of us had ate all day because we spent literally the entire day at the hospital. Ads reached up grabbing her necklace and holding onto it while she ate. She did that sometimes when she was anxious or nervous or needed me but couldn't do anything in that moment. I don't know if her mom ever noticed she did that because she never said anything.

Ads finished eating and cleared her spot at the table.

"I'm going to take a shower"

Before either one of us could say anything she was already gone. Her mom and me sat in complete silence for a while.

"Is she ok?"

I looked up from my food to her mom. She was staring at me with questioning eyes.

"She says she is. I'll keep an eye on her"

Her mom smiled at me and shook her head before getting up and saying goodnight to me and walking upstairs. I cleaned everything up and locked the house up. I made my way upstairs and slipped into Ads room. She was sitting on her bed with a small safe in front of her.

"When did you get a safe?"

She looked up and over at me.

"when we got back from the cabin"

"Why"
"To hide things"
"Like what"

Ads held up the card I got her for her birthday

"You kept that"

She looked surprised I said that.

"yeah but I'm glad to know you don't have anything I ever gave to you"
"What's that?" I asked ignoring what she said.

She looked at me "the real papers from the hospital"

I looked at her and didn't move a muscle.

"Do you want to see them dame I can answer anything you want to ask or talk about"

My voice wouldn't work. This was odd usually Ads was the one that was quiet not me. I always had something to say no matter what. All I could do was shake my head yes. I walked over and sat down beside her. She opened the papers up......

Two hours later we finished our talk. We both talked and cried asking each other questions and being there for each other. Ads put everything away and locked the safe hiding it in the wall. I stood up and held out my hand.

"Come on I want to show you something"

I held out my hand for her to take so I could show her what I wanted to. Ads looked at me and grabbed my hand standing up. We walked into my room and I picked up a piece of loose wood from the floorboard under my rug. I pulled out a small box and handed it to Ads. She raised her eyebrow at me and took the small box in her hands. She walked over and sat on my bed opening the box.

She looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes and I smiled at her.

"I didn't get rid of a single thing. I just didn't want to seem like a bitch for keeping it all but now that I know you have everything still I don't feel so weird."

Ads smiled and picked up the bracelet she made for me in school years ago and started laughing.

"I can't believe you still have this Damien"
"What of course I do that was the first time you ever even talked to me. I told you That I have liked you for like ever"
"I thought you just said that to make me feel better and to get inside my pants"

I couldn't help but smile at her. I grabbed my chest as if I was hurt and she started giggling.

"You can be so corny sometimes you know that."

I walked over and sat down beside her. "When I told you I loved you I wasn't lying. It's always been you Ads even when we wasn't friends it was still you."

Ads had a tear run down her cheek and I reached up wiping it away.

"I love you"

Her voice was small. I planted a kiss on her lips and put the box away. I laid down in my bed and pulled her back and into my arms.

"We are in this together baby always"

She was laying there holding onto me as I held her rubbing her back and playing with her hair. Her leg was draped over me and her breathing was calm and relaxed.

"This is ganna hurt so bad when we break up"
"Why would we break up?"

She was still calm and relaxed holding onto me.

"You leave for college in a month"

I squeezed onto her. How could I forget about school? How could I forget about that?

"Fuck." I mumbled lightly.