My Thug Forever*2

18

Harmony

My baby's birthday party started at 5:30 but, he wasn't here yet. It was a surprise so I sent him out to get a few things. The house was starting to get crowded with family and friends. I made everybody park behind the house so Hayden wouldn't suspect anything. I had my friend Anne watch out for him.

"Quick everybody hide he's here!" I ran to the living room and sat on the couch while everybody else went to hide. He opened the door and I got up. "Hey ma" he said kissing my cheek and walking to the kitchen. I followed him with my hand in the air counting to three. On the third finger everybody screamed "surprise".

"What the hell!' He screamed. I gave him a look and he apologized. "Ma you didn't have too" he said grinning like a fool. I kissed him and said happy birthday once again.

It was eight o'clock and I was getting tired of seeing these damn people in my house so I ended the party. I cleaned the house and went to check on the kids. Zamariah was watching a movie with Hayden.. I went to change into sweats and a white tee. Nothing special. I told the kids that I'll be right back. I grabbed my car keys and went to my car. I'm going to Zachary's house.

I sat outside his house deciding if I should get out my car or not. I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to see him and a huge part  wanted to kill him and another part of me wanted him to love me. I finally grew enough strength to get out and approach the door. I stood there, in front of his door. I thought about everything and turned around to leave but the door opened. "Where you going?" The voice said.

Fuck, I whispered to myself and I turned around to face him... I entered the house and felt awkward as hell . He tried to start conversations with me but I honestly wasn't having it. He pulled me into the kitchen where I seen a perfectly made table with food on it. He pulled out my chair for me and I sat down, he sat across from me.

"Harmony I'm sorry for everything-" he started. I cut him off with my laughter.

After my fit of laughter I looked at him and said "Are you serious?". He nodded his head. "Can you let me finish? I felt myself getting angry, I gripped my sweats and nodded my head letting him continue.

"I do not love Diamond and I honestly never did and I NEVER will. There is no other woman on this earth that I love more than you Harmony and you know that. Yes I cheated. Yes I made a huge stupid mistake but I think we can work past this. Just you and me. I miss my kids and the one growing inside of you. Just please, Harmony all I'm asking for is another chance." He pleaded. I just sat there and stared at him.

"You think inviting me over and giving me food is gonna cover up the pain that you caused? How the fuck do you think I feel ? Huh. Taking care of two kids by my damn self and one on the way? You think it's fucking easy? You basically ripped my heart out my chest and stomped on it. You didn't care about me, you never fucking did. If you loved me you wouldn't have done what you did. You know it's funny how a person can tell you all these things to make you feel good but yet do the exact opposite. Its cute how you made me feel worthless like I wasn't worth a damn penny." I stood up to leave.

"Harmony STOP with the bullshit! You know I love you. You know it, so stop saying that I don't. You're my ride or die. We were meant for each other baby don't you see it??" he said.

"You made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Why did you do it? Why couldn't you just tell me you weren't happy? Instead of making me think that our love was real when it never was. YOU TOOK ME FOR GRANTED! YOU KNEW NO MATTER WHAT YOU DID I WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE. YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT! You will never understand what the fuck you had until it's gone. I want a divorce if it isn't clear and you better work something out to see your kids. YOUR OWN SON HATES YOU ! How does that fuckin feel? I hate you. I wish I never met you."

"Harmony. Baby you don't mean that" he looked at me with glossy eyes.

 "You've made my life a living hell. All the shit I did for you, I couldn't evenlove myself but I learned to love you. I held you down when your best friend betrayed you. And this is how you repay me? You ain't shit". I turned around to leave but turned around and told him "And yes I did know that you used to love me. And I want you to know that I'll always love you, just because I'm that type of person. I never give up but this right here, this marriage; I'm giving up on it." I walked out the house crying. I started driving but I couldn't drive right, I stopped at the beach and cried my eyes out.

I was truly done.