Merely Existing...

3

"Aahhhhh!" The sounds of my mother's screams bolt me up from my reoccurring nightmare. Perspiration snugs firmly to me while I jerk my body to the side to touch the side of my phone, displaying it was 2:34 am. I groan; great! I hop out of my California king-sized canopy and clap, so my LED lights on the extremely low white settings can reveal my room. I look around my carpet-covered interior and make my way to my walk-in closet. It was like a whole different room.

I dig into one of the bedazzled drawers, of the white and gold dresser, that stood in the middle of the room, and fish out a matching set of drawstring laced thongs, with a c-cup bra to match. It was nude with the tags still on them. A gift I treated myself to last week while at Aker Mills Square on Cobbs parkway. I arrange it on my bed neatly and snap a photo of it from above, adding it to my BeYou instant story, captioning it "Selection for the night" with two little fire emojis next to it. I just posted it, and 25 bored people who aren't even my real-life friends have already seen it. Damn the internet is fast! I chuckle to myself.

I throw on my Prada fur slippers and head down 2 flights to my enormous kitchen. I walk past my in-wall aquarium and watch the jellyfishes float for a while, their beauty capturing my attention more than necessary. I notice some buildup in their tank and make a mental note to get the guy to come to clean it first thing in the morning. I rest my hand on the tank while watching the three jellyfishes I've named Major, Nebula, and Dinko swim in harmony, unaware of the essence of existence. My favorite animals in the world, I love their simplicity and unique ways.

I make my way to my island, grabbing a banana out of the wooden bowl, I stock up every two days. The mail is starting to pile up. It isn't anything but bills on top of more bills I say to myself. As I sort through the pile taking small bites of the half-eaten fruit, I see a manila envelope addressed to me in neat handwriting. A letter from the county jail, with my mother's name, was scribbled in the corner. When did I pick this up? Ugh, I don't have time for the guilt trip, not tonight. I suddenly lose my appetite and throw the banana in the foot-operated garbage.

I dash upstairs into my room and slam the door. What does she need from me? It can't be more money I just filled her books electronically last week! Ugh, that woman is relentless. I haven't been to visit her in over a year, our last encounter wasn't exactly stereotypically how the visits are supposed to go. There was a lot of shouting and tears involved. Every time she tries to talk to me about the events that transpired that night of my 12th birthday, I shut down. It's been years, I hate reliving the fucking past Tramp! I curse her out in my head as though she can hear me. Heading into the bathroom, I turn the ceiling-mounted, waterfall shower head on. Allowing the steam to calm my nerves for a bit.

Once my nerves were a bit more settled, I poke around my bedside drawer and find a pre-rolled joint along with a lighter. I take a stoke and let out the bullshit. I smoke for about five minutes feeling relaxed as fuck. My phone chimes snapping me out of my high. The sound annoys me but brings me back into reality. "Fuck!" Who in the world could be calling me at this hour? I snatch the phone from next to the panties that I haven't even put on yet and see the screen display Diamond with two heart emojis.

"Bitchhh!" She screams in my ear in an excited tone, like it's not two in the morning."You better have good reason, as to why the hell you're interrupting my beauty sleep slut!" I shoot at her with annoyance clear as day in my voice. "Girl, it's not like ya ass wasn't up, I saw ya latest story but you'll never guess where I am." She could not hide the enthusiasm in her statement if she tried. Now, I'm genuinely intrigued. "Let me guess, you and Daryl made up, and you're under his balls?" I laugh out loud because my friend is a trip. Daryl was her on and off boyfriend, they were a little toxic but they loved each other. She kept his ass on a wild goose chase."Bitch no, he's old news! Remember the sexy-ass therapist I was telling you about? The one whose dog died recently? Well, she had a funeral for him where I met her fine-ass paid brother! So right now we are headed to this party in the A. He just took me to dinner, and girl when I tell you the man is gorgeous, that may well even be an understatement. So what are you up to tonight? I think he got a friend." She drags the friend part hesitantly because she knew how I feel about men, well people for that matter. "Listen D, I'm happy that you have a new boy toy to sink your claws into tonight. As for me, I have a lot of errands to run in the morning so being around a bunch of sweaty and horny mother fuckers is not on my list of priorities at the moment. I love you, and I'll call you tomorrow. Be safe, love bug." I say not trying to let her down. "Wait-wha what is that supposed to mean? My claws?" She asks with hurt apparently in her tone. "Oh D, you know I meant nothing by it, I'm just not sure if you're going to sleep with him, if you do he better embrace himself cause yo ass got some powers for real!" I tell her trying to lighten up her mood and sustain her ego. She laughs, "I do got some beware of the dangers ahead, don't I? Alright I love you A! And that set is nice! I just thought you might've wanted to jiggle in them tonight so they don't go to waste!" She teases. "Girl, you know I can make do just fine, be safe." I hang up.

That girl is a trip. We have been friends since high school and have been inseparable since. She may even very well be my best friend because she's my only friend. She didn't get jealous when my fame skyrocketed and she knew almost everything about me except the dark parts of my past I refused to open up to her about especially the night of my 12th birthday. Speaking of, my birthday was coming up in a few months. I will need to start planning soon. My shower steam started making its way into my bedroom. I spark a candle and hop in. I lather my body with some body wash and follow with a sugar scrub with CBD oil in it, so I can get a tranquil feeling and go straight into Lala land after. I wash away all the distress I worked my way up to have, after wakening so abruptly. The shower was satisfactorily what I expected. Afterward, I throw on some body butter and the new lingerie set after ripping off the tags, plugging my phone in the charger, and wrapping my freshly cleaned curls into a silk scarf. I put my eye mask on, and jump into my bed eventually permitting peace to find me. I feel myself daze out, into a dream of the pink world.